[Illustration: In the Baron's Good Books.]
["Amongst the candidates for the Regius Professorship of History at Cambridge is Mr. OSCAR BROWNING."--_Daily Paper._]
The History Professorship-- Who'll from the PREMIER get the post? Here's Mr. OSCAR BROWNING, one Whose name is chosen from the host.
But should Lord R. o'erlook his claim, Oh! will O. B. be wildly riled. In fact, will OSCAR BROWNING then Develop into OSCAR WILDE?
QUEER QUERIES.--COSTLY COLOURS.--Could some reader inform me whether it would be of any use to request the Works Committee of the London County Council to paint my back door for me? It has become a little discoloured through age, and a local carpenter has offered to put on "two coats of good sage-green enamel paint" for five-and-sixpence. But as I see that the Works Committee only spent £2,186 over the painting of Hammersmith Bridge, I fancy that it would be cheaper to employ them, if I could. It is pleasant to think what exceptionally fair wages they must have paid over this job (using the word in its natural meaning), and how much time the poor men engaged in it must have been able to give to their family circles. This is as it should be.--TRUE PROGRESSIVE.
NIAGARA HALL.--They say the sham ice here is almost perfect, very nearly as good as the real ice, in fact so little is the difference between the real and sham that a skater, unless he had tried it, would hardly real-ice it! The band plays, "Hwfa (Williams) of thee I'm fondly dreaming!" as the _patineurs_ and _patineuses_ who have paid their three or five shillings glide about at the rate of either eighteenpence or two-and-sixpence a foot.
***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI, VOLUME 108, FEBRUARY 2, 1895
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