_Whilst a Beggar what cunning tricks he invented to steal undiscovered, and how at last served, being caught _ipso facto_._
The next day I went into _Lincolns-Inn-fields_, where I saw a company of Rogues, cheats, Pick-pockets, &c., playing at Pidgeon holes (a game much practised there, and in More-fields, by such mischievious and lazie Rascals) growing very hungry, I singled out two or three of the fittest for my purpose in assisting or contriving Roguery; a little rising grass-plat was our counsil-table, where we consulted what stratagems would best take and were least known. Come Gentlemen said I (for the Liberal Science or antient profession they studied was enough to gentelize them) what money have yee, _sine Cerere & Baccho friget ingenium_, we must have good liquor that shall warm our bloods, enliven and unthaw our congealed spirits and make our inventions and fancies as nimble as lightning. Faith said one, I have but three pence; yet that you may see how well quallified I am for your company, I’le have money for you presently. He was not gone much above an half hour but merrily he came to us; sitting down he desired me to put my hand down his neck between his wascoat and shirt, which accordingly I did, but admired to groap out three rashers of Bacon, which I produced to the Company. Very importunate I was with him, to know what it meant, and how they came there. Give me attention (said he) and I will unravel this riddle thus. Walking along the streets leisurely, strictly eying any thing on which I might seize securely and advantageously: at length I saw a good pittiful old Woman (for so she seem’d to me by her countenance) selling Bacon, who I observ’d did put what money she took into a pocket made in her Apron. Upon this sight Fancy me thought suggested to me that her money was as already as surely mine as if I had already confin’d it close Prisoner in my leathern dungeon. And thus I wrought my design. Good Woman said I, (speaking in a whining tone,) how do you sell your Bacon a pound? Seven pence (said she,) whereupon I began a lamentable oration, telling her that I would willingly have half a pound but that I had but three pence; that my Master was a very cruel man, half starving his servants; come give me your money sirrah, she said, for once you shall have it so; weighing it, I desired her to cut it into slices and thrust it down my back; She asked my reason for it, I told her that my Master usually searcht me, and should he find any such thing in my pockets, he would half murther me. Alas poor boy (quoth the good old Woman) lean down thy head towards me, surely I will do thee that small kindness: whilst she was larding my back, I got my hands underneath her Apron, and with this short knife nipt of the bottom of her pocket, and thus have I done my part to procure yee both food and money. As I lookt on this as base ingratitude, so I could not but tacitely within myself, both condemn and abhorr such society, remembring the words of _Juvenal_.