Kiss me, thou curious Miniature of Man; How odd thou art, how pretty, how japan: Oh! I could live and die with thee: Then on, For half an Hour, in Complements she ran. I took this Time to think what Nature meant, } When this mixt Thing into the World she sent, } So very wise, yet so impertinent. } One that knows ev'ry Thing that God thought fit Shou'd be an Ass thro' Choice, not want of Wit. Whose Foppery, without the help of Sense, Cou'd ne'er have rose to such an Excellence. Nature's as lame in making a true Fop As a Philosopher, the very Top And Dignity of Folly we attain By studious Search, and Labour of the Brain: By Observation, Counsel, and deep Thought: God never made a Coxcomb worth a Groat. We owe that Name to Industry and Arts; An eminent Fool must be a Fool of Parts. And such a one was she; who had turn'd o'er As many Books as Men; lov'd much, read more: Had discerning Wit; to her was known Every one's Fault, or Merit, but her own. All the good Qualities that ever blest } A Woman so distinguish'd from the rest, } Except Discretion only, she possest. } But now _Mon Cher_, dear Pug, she crys, adieu, And the Discourse broke off, does thus renew: You smile to see me, who the World perchance, Mistakes to have some Wit, so far advance The Interest of Fools, that I approve Their Merit more than Men of Wit in Love. But in our Sex too many Proofs there are Of such whom Wits undo and Fools repair. This, in my Time, was so observ'd a Rule, Hardly a Wench in Town but had her Fool. The meanest, common Slut, who long was grown The Jest and Scorn of ev'ry Pit-Buffoon; Had yet left Charms enough to have subdu'd Some Fop or other; fond to be thought lewd. _Foster_ could make an _Irish_ Lord a _Nokes_; And _Betty Morris_ had her City Cokes. A Woman's ne'er so ruin'd but she can Be still reveng'd on her Undoer, Man: How lost soe'er, she'll find some Lover more, A more abandon'd Fool than she a Whore. That wretched Thing _Corinna_, who has run Thro' all th' several Ways of being undone: Cozen'd at first by Love, and living then By turning the too dear-bought Cheat on Men: Gay were the Hours, and wing'd with Joy they flew, When first the Town her early Beauties knew: Courted, admir'd, and lov'd, with Presents fed; Youth in her Looks, and Pleasure in her Bed: 'Till Fate, or her ill Angel, thought it fit To make her doat upon a Man of Wit: Who found 'twas dull to love above a Day; Made his ill-natur'd Jest, and went away. Now scorn'd of all, forsaken and oppress'd, She's a _Memento Mori_ to the rest: Diseas'd, decay'd, to take up half a Crown Must mortgage her long Scarf, and Manto Gown; Poor Creature, who unheard of, as a Fly, In some dark Hole must all the Winter lie: And Want and Dirt endure a whole half Year, That for one Month she tawdry may appear. In _Easter_ Term she gets her a new Gown; When my young Master's Worship comes to Town: From Pedagogue and Mother just set free; The Heir and Hopes of a great Family: Who with strong Beer and Beef the Country rules; And ever since the Conquest have been Fools: And now with careful Prospect to maintain This Character, lest crossing of the Strain Shou'd mend the Booby-breed; his Friends provide A Cousin of his own to be his Bride: And thus set out-- With an Estate, no Wit, and a young Wife: The sole Comforts of a Coxcomb's Life: Dunghil and Pease forsook, he comes to Town, Turns Spark, learns to be lewd, and is undone: Nothing suits worse with Vice than want of Sense: Fools are still wicked at their own Expence. This o'er-grown School-Boy lost _Corinna_ wins; At the first dash to make an Ass begins: Pretends to like a Man that has not known The Vanities or Vices of the Town: Fresh in his Youth, and faithful in his Love, Eager of Joys which he does seldom prove: Healthful and strong, he does no Pains endure, But what the Fair One he adores can cure. Grateful for Favours does the Sex esteem, And libels none for being kind to him. Then of the Lewdness of the Town complains, Rails at the Wits and Atheists, and maintains 'Tis better than good Sense, than Pow'r or Wealth, To have a Blood untainted, Youth and Health. The unbred Puppy who had never seen A Creature look so gay, or talk so fine; Believes, then falls in Love, and then in Debt: Mortgages all, ev'n to the ancient Seat, To buy his Mistress a new House for Life: To give her Plate and Jewels robs his Wife. And when to th' Heighth of Fondness he is grown, 'Tis Time to poison him, and all's her own. Thus meeting in her common Arms his Fate, He leaves her Bastard-Heir to his Estate: And as the Race of such an Owl deserves, His own dull lawful Progeny he starves.