WILL. For the honour of God, good Master Porter, give somewhat to the blind, That the way to the alehouse in his sleep cannot find.
TOM. For the good Lord's sake, take compassion on the poor.
_Enter_ FRAUD, _with a basket of meat on his arm_.
FRAUD. How now, sirs! you are vengeance hasty: can ye not tarry, But stand bawling so at my lady's door? Here, take it amongst you; yet 'twere a good alms-deed to give you nothing, Because you were so hasty, and kept such a calling.
TOM. I beseech ye not so, sir, for we were very hungry: That made us so earnest, but we are sorry we troubled ye.
SIMPLICITY (_aside_). Look how greedy they be, like dogs that fall a snatching. You shall see that I shall have the greatest alms, because I said nothing. Fraud knows me, therefore he'll be my friend; I am sure of that. They have nothing but lean beef, ye shall see I shall have a piece that is fat. Master Fraud, you have forgot me: pray ye, let me have my share.
FRAUD. Faith, all is gone; thou com'st too late: thou seest to all is given there. By the faith of a gentleman, I have it not: I would I were able to give thee more.
SIMPLICITY. O sir, I saw your arms hang out of a stable-door.[219]
FRAUD. Indeed, my arms are at the painter's; belike, lie hung them out to dry. I pray thee, tell me what they were, if thou canst them descry.
SIMPLICITY. Marry, there was never a scutcheon, but there was two trees rampant, And then over them lay a sour tree passant, With a man like you in a green field pendant, Having a hempen halter about his neck, with a knot under the left ear, because you are a younger brother. Then, sir, there stands on each side, holding up the cres', A worthy ostler's hand in a dish of grease. Besides all this, on the helmet stands the hangman's hand, Ready to turn the ladder, whereon your picture did stand: Then under the helmet hung cables I like chains, and for what they are I cannot devise, Except it be to make you hang fast, that the crows might pick out your eyes.
FRAUD. What a swad is this? I had been better to have sent him to the back-door, To have gotten some alms amongst the rest of the poor. [_Aside_. Thou prat'st thou canst not tell what, or else art not well in thy wit: I am sure my arms are not blas'd so far abroad as yet.