During the morning hours the lady of the house may reasonably ask to be excused. She may be in the habit of breakfasting in her room, while later letters and household cares will occupy her time. If she does not expect to appear until the luncheon-hour, however, she should inquire overnight whether there is anything she can do for her guests in the morning. Although these will usually occupy themselves and amuse one another in the forenoon, their entertainer will have some plans probably for the afternoon and almost certainly for the evening. It is wise to arrange the night before, or betimes in the morning, the programme for the day, so that the guests will know what to expect. If these are all young people and the hostess an older woman, she will hardly take part in the more active out-of-door amusements. Where there is neither son nor daughter of the house, as deputy in the sports, it often happens that a young friend acts for the lady of the house.
The hostess should, if possible, be on hand to receive the adieux of the departing guests. If these are to leave in the morning and forget to inquire overnight about the train service, the hostess may with perfect propriety ask at what time they would like to start. She should do so in a tactful way, and might say, for instance: “At what hour are you obliged to be in New York, Miss Y——? I should like to let the chauffeur know to-night, so that he may be ready in good season to take you to the train.”
A “bread-and-butter letter” thanking the lady of the house for her hospitality should be written within a few days of the visit. If the guest is a young girl she should write very promptly, in order to let her hostess know of her safe arrival at her destination. Such a note need not be long, but it should show a cordial appreciation of the kindness received.
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AFTERNOON TEAS AND RECEPTIONS FOR THE DÉBUTANTE—“THÉ DANSANT”
Dress and Behavior of Guests—Dress and Etiquette for the Hostess and Her Assistants—Formal and Informal Occasions—Who May Send Flowers.
AFTERNOON teas maintain their popularity because they present the simplest and easiest way of receiving one’s circle of friends and acquaintances. Like the magic cloak of fable, they expand or shrink to suit the requirements and resources of every hostess, whether she be rich or in modest circumstances, whether she wishes to ask several hundred persons to a stately city mansion or half a dozen friends to a quiet country villa. For presenting a young girl to society they are especially convenient. All the old family friends will appreciate the opportunity of seeing the débutante and welcoming her to her new sphere, without going to the trouble and expense of buying a new ball-dress and hiring a carriage. To many elderly people, evening dances, with the late hours, indigestible suppers, and fatigue necessarily involved, are very distasteful.