What does your ship weigh before she sets sail? She weighs anchor.
What is an old woman like who is in the midst of a river? Like to be drowned.
What is the difference between a school-master and an engine driver? One trains the mind, and the other minds the train.
Who was the first man who went round the world? The man in the moon.
Wanted known to all of the name of Crooks, that Cole's Book Arcade contains 80,000 sorts of books. Wanted known to all not of the name of Crooks, that Cole's Book Arcade contains 80,000 sorts of books. Wanted known to all of the name of Blair that they can get almost any book they want there. Wanted known to all not of the name of Blair that they can get almost any book they want there. Wanted known to all of the name of Fitzgerald, Cole's was the first Book Arcade opened in the World. Wanted known to all not of the name of Fitzgerald, Cole's is still the only Book Arcade in the World. Wanted all intelligent persons of the name of Hall, to give Cole's Unique Book Arcade an early call. Wanted all intelligent persons not of the name of Hall, to give Cole's Unique Book Arcade a very early call.
Why is a new-born baby like a gale of wind? Because it begins with a squall.
When is a baby not a baby? When it is a little duck.
Why is an infant like a diamond? Because it is a dear little thing.
When is a soldier like a baby? When he is in arms.
When is butter like Irish children? When it is made into little Pats.
Why is a church-clock like a little boy often receiving a beating? Because it's hands move over it's face.
Why is a boy like a potato? Because they both wear jackets.
Why is the earth like a school black-board? Because the children of men multiply upon the face of it.
Why does a ladies' school, out for a walk, resemble the notes of a flute? Because it goes two, two, two, two (toot-oot-oot-oot).
When do young ladies eat a musical instrument? When they have a Piano-for-tea.
Why is a four-quart jug like a lady's side-saddle? Because it holds a gall-on.
Why is a vain young lady like a confirmed drunkard? Because neither of them is satisfied with a moderate use of the glass.
Why is a flirt like a hollow India-rubber ball? Because she is very empty and has a deal of bounce.