"But here the new-built gaol, I own,[179] Ought not to be forgotten, A sweeter place in all the town No one would choose to rot in.
"Yet notwithstanding all our pains, Our judgment and expence, Yet wanting much, one thing remains Of weighty consequence.
"For what avails our large gilt mace, Our full-furr'd purple gowns? Our scarlet fiddlers' noted race, And lord-like pack of hounds?[180]
"What, tho' our huntsman's clothed well, In coat of grass-green plush,[181] Whene'er I see our crier's bell, I vow it makes me blush.
"Whene'er we're sitting in this hall, The sound on't makes me sick, For 'tis a great burlesque on all Our body politic.
"No dignity's thereby convey'd, No harmony decorous, I marvel much no order's made It shan't be rung before us.
"Then, gentlemen, with decent pride, At this our solemn sitting, Let us agree that we provide A bell our town befitting."
The court agreed; a bell was bought, With more melodious tongue, How much it cost I have forgot, But to this day 'tis rung.
Th' offensive bell was laid aside, Like statesmen when discarded, And in a stable did reside, Entirely disregarded.
Soon did the news of this event, Reach Armthorpe you may swear. From whence two leading men were sent To treat with Mr. Mayor.
Whom they approach'd with awkward bow, And then with sly address They told his worship, "That as how-- They were in great distress."
Said,--"A great work we have in hand, In which we've been too rash, For now it all is at a stand, Only for want of cash.
"A bell we want, a small one too. Would make our business right, A second-handed bell would do, Did we know where to buy't."
By this time he smelt out their drift, And gen'rous as a king, Said,--"We have one--to you we'll giv't,-- 'Twill be the very thing.
"And I'm well pleased, I do protest, To save you so much charge, But, I suppose, tho' you know best, Our bell will be too large."
The bell was fetch'd at his command, (A sight to them most pleasing,) Of which to them, with but one hand, He livery gave and seizin.
The joy they did at this conceive They could not well conceal, For as they bow'd, and took their leave, They rang a tingling peal.
Full fast then homeward they did hie, (Almost as quick as thought,) Nor was their speed retarded by The weight of what they brought.