_Direct._ XVI. When you cannot speak, or where your speaking prevaileth not, mourn for them; and earnestly pray for their recovery.[150] A sad countenance of Nehemiah remembered Artaxerxes of his duty. A sigh or a tear for a miserable sinner, may move his heart, when exhortation will not. He hath a heart of stone, who will have no sense of his condition, when he seeth another weeping for him.
_Quest._ But is it always a duty to reprove or exhort a sinner? How shall I know when it is my duty, and when it is not?
_Answ._ It is no duty in any of these cases following. 1. In general, When you have sufficient reason to judge, that it will do more harm than good, and will not attain its proper end; for God hath not appointed us to do hurt under pretence of duty; it is no means which doth cross the end which it should attain. As prayer and preaching may be a sin, when they are like to cross their proper end; so also may reproof be.
2. Therefore it must not be used when it apparently hindereth a greater good. As we may not pray or preach when we should be quenching a fire in the town, or saving a man's life: so when reproof doth exclude some greater duty or benefit, it is unseasonable, and no duty at that time. Christ alloweth us to forbear the casting of pearls before swine, or giving that which is holy to dogs, because of these two reasons forementioned, It is no means to the contemptuous, and they will turn again and all to rend us.[151] Much more, if he be some potent enemy of the church, who will not only rend us, but the church itself, if he be so provoked: reproving him then is not our duty.
3. Particularly, When a man is in a passion or drunk usually it is no season to reprove him.
4. Nor when you are among others, who should not be witnesses of the fault, or the reproof; or whose presence will shame him, and offend him (except it be only the shaming of an incorrigible or malicious sinner which you intend).
5. Nor when you are uncertain of the fact which you would reprove, or uncertain whether it be a sin.
6. Or when you have no witness of it, (though you are privately certain,) with some that will take advantage against you as slanderers, a reproof may be omitted.
7. And when the offenders are so much your superiors, that you are like to have no better success than to be accounted arrogant; a groan or tears is then the best reproof.