Then a horrid thought flashed across her mind: she perceived her fatal mistake, and her heart almost ceased to beat.
“This is thy wife!” cried the Brahman’s head that had been fastened to the soldier’s body.
“No; she is thy wife!” replied the soldier’s head which had been placed upon the Brahman’s body.
“Then she is my wife!” rejoined the first compound creature.
“By no means! she is my wife,” cried the second.
“What then am I?” asked Devasharma-Gunakar.
“What do you think I am?” answered Gunakar-Devasharma, with another question.
“Unmadini shall be mine,” quoth the head.
“You lie, she shall be mine,” shouted the body.
“Holy Yama,[160] hear the villain,” exclaimed both of them at the same moment.
In short, having thus begun, they continued to quarrel violently, each one declaring that the beautiful Unmadini belonged to him, and to him only. How to settle their dispute Brahma the Lord of creatures only knows. I do not, except by cutting off their heads once more, and by putting them in their proper places. And I am quite sure, O Raja Vikram! that thy wits are quite unfit to answer the question, To which of these two is the beautiful Unmadini wife? It is even said--amongst us Baitals--that when this pair of half-husbands appeared in the presence of the Just King, a terrible confusion arose, each head declaiming all the sins and peccadilloes which its body had committed, and that Yama the holy ruler himself hit his forefinger with vexation.[161]
Here the young prince Dharma Dhwaj burst out laughing at the ridiculous idea of the wrong heads. And the warrior king, who, like single-minded fathers in general, was ever in the idea that his son had a velleity for deriding and otherwise vexing him, began a severe course of reproof. He reminded the prince of the common saying that merriment without cause degrades a man in the opinion of his fellows, and indulged him with a quotation extensively used by grave fathers, namely, that the loud laugh bespeaks a vacant mind. After which he proceeded with much pompousness to pronounce the following opinion:
“Your majesty need hardly display so much erudition! Doubtless it comes from the lips of Jayudeva or some other one of your Nine Gems of Science, who know much more about their songs and their stanzas than they do about their scriptures,” insolently interrupted the Baital, who never lost an opportunity of carping at those reverend men.