After breakfast, she told Miss Plodder that she would "take care of me, and introduce me to the Elders." Then bidding me not to be afraid, she led me by the hand to a group of tall young ladies, and in a set speech, delivered in a mock tone, such as I've heard my brothers imitate Mr. John Cooper in, "begged to present a humble candidate to their friendship and favor." The tallest, a Miss Noble, who seemed the head girl, and as stiff as a backboard, made me welcome, and then began questioning me in the following manner: "Did I live in London?--at the Westend, of course?--perhaps in Belgrave-square? No! then near Hyde Park? No! then in one of the squares? Yes! Well, some of the squares were still respectable. In which of the squares did I live, pray?"
I mumbled out, as well as I could, "Torrington-square."
"Oh! hem! where was Torrington-square?" continued my tormentor. "Near the city, was it not? No!--what, near Russell-square and Gower-street? Gower-street! Well, really, she knew nothing of those parts of the town."
I was next asked, "Whether my mamma went to court?"
"No," I answered, in my ignorance; "but papa does sometimes, and takes his blue bag with him when he has law business." This gave rise to shouts of laughter, and long exclamations of "Dear, dear!" whilst looks of pity were showered down upon me.
"I mean," continued Miss Noble, "her Majesty's receptions. My mamma goes to court; and I am to be presented myself by the Grand Duchess of Mechlenburgh-Sedlitz immediately on my leaving college;" and she tossed her head up to the ceiling, until I thought it would never come down again.
"How did you come last night?" resumed Miss Noble. "In the omnibus," cried out wicked Meggy, who immediately ran away.
"No; I know how she came," said another beauty, "for I was in the drawing-room at the time, and looked out of the window; she came in a clarence _with one horse_." And they all tittered again, and I felt my cheeks growing red, though why I should be ashamed of mamma's pretty clarence I don't know, even though it has but _one_ horse.
I was next asked, "Whether my paternal (meaning papa, I suppose) lived at home?" "Of course," I answered; "where should he live?" "Why some people have an establishment in the city, and a family in a square. The shop (and they tittered again) must not be neglected." "Do not be rude, Miss Ogle," interrupted Miss Noble, affecting to be very serious; "personalities are extremely rude; and, besides, Miss Clover's father may not live in a shop. Tell us, dear, what profession are you in?" "I--I'm in no profession," I said, trembling lest I should be laughed at again. "Dear! what beautiful simplicity!" said the court lady, lifting her hands up; "not you--your father, child." "Oh! papa is a stockbroker." "A what? A stockbroker! Pray, what's that?" "I know," said the young lady who had told about the clarence with one horse; "it's a trade; for I hear papa talk of desiring his stockbroker to buy and sell; and I am certain, now I think of it, that they deal in _bears and ducks_." "No such thing," exclaimed a little girl with a turn-up nose; "they sell old stocks, such as bankrupts' stocks, or retiring haberdashers' stocks; they're a sort of old-clothesmen." "At any rate, they are not professional, and therefore must be in trade," decided proud Miss Noble; and they all turned away from me, with sneers and contempt. "It's no such thing," I burst out; "my papa is a gentleman--a real gentleman--and he's quite as good, if not better, than any of your papas, though you are so proud; and I sha'n't answer any more of your rude questions." "That's right," laughed Meggy; "that's the way to disappoint them. Don't tell 'em anything."