"Silence, comrades!" commanded the President. "Let me deal with 'im. Prisoner, the Tribunal finds you guilty of wearing a collar, contrary to the regulations. Collars are the 'all-marks of a slave civilization; they 'ave no place in a free state. The sentence of the Court is that you be committed to a State laundry for ten years, with 'ard labour, principally at mangles. Remove the prisoner."
He was glad when he woke up to find himself in his own room in his own Government office at Whitehall, with the afternoon sun streaming deliciously through the windows. Involuntarily he felt for his collar.
When I come into my kingdom, which will happen very soon, I shall ride a milk-white palfrey from the Mountains of the Moon; He's caparisoned and costly, but he did his bit of work In a bridle set with brilliants, which he used to beat the Turk.
Then they called their Uncle Edward and they blew without a check, Keeping time with much precision, down the back of Uncle's neck, Till he fled to get an iceberg, which he providently found Half on land and half in water, so he couldn't well be drowned.
Oh, his gait was very silent, very sinuous and slow-- He had learnt it from a waiter whom he met about Soho; He was much the best tactician of the migratory band And he earned a decent living as a parcel packed by hand.
"Sergeant James," we said, "how goes it?" but the Sergeant looked askance; Not for him the mazy phalanx or the military dance; He could only sit and suffer, with a most portentous frown, While a crowd of little gipsies turned the whole thing upside down.
Aunt Maria next surprised us: for her massive back was grooved, And her adenoids gave trouble, so we had them all removed; If we hadn't done it neatly she'd have gone and joined the dead, As it is she hops politely while she walks upon her head.
So we'll all fill up a cheque-form on some celebrated Banks-- It's a pity that a cheque-form should be made so much of blanks-- And we'll give the Bank of England all the credit that is due To her hoards of gold and silver; and I wish they weren't so few.
"Mr. ---- has been actively connected with the last two Victory Loan drives, in the last one raising $15,282,000. As an appreciation of his work the salesmen presented him with a (fifteen million dollar) diamond ring."--_Canadian Paper_.