The things which I say it is time you should hear (They're English, you know; quite English, you know). The principles these to make France without peer (Though they're English; quite English, you know)!
_Lady Customer._ "HOW MUCH ARE GROUSE TO-DAY, MR. JIBLETS?"
_Poulterer._ "TWELVE SHILLINGS A BRACE, MA'AM. SHALL I SEND THEM----"
_Lady Customer._ "NO, YOU NEED NOT SEND THEM. MY HUSBAND'S OUT GROUSE-SHOOTING, AND HE'LL CALL FOR THEM AS HE COMES HOME!!"
"A Thing of Beauty is a joy for ever;" Except a pretty girl, who thinks she's clever.
NOMENCLATURE.--Somebody calls the "Thunderer's" daily fulmination against Mr. GLADSTONE an _ignis fatuus_, or foolish fire of Party journalism. Would not "Whip poor Will" be a more suitable title?
MEM. FROM DERBYSHIRE.--The real "Lovers' Leap"--Marriage.
I have seen _The Barrister_ at the Comedy, and want to see him again, because he is a most amusing gentleman and figures in a case full of good things. There are two authors--as there should be--a Leader and his Junior. Mr. GEORGE MANVILLE FENN (a very excellent novelist) is the "silk," and he has for his junior Mr. DARNLEY. This latter gentleman be it understood, represents only the best kind of "stuff," for the play is good throughout. It is in three Acts, and there is not a dull moment from commencement to finish. I do not feel equal to describing the plot, which is bustling and clever, nor to jotting down the jests which are funny and novel, nor to criticising the acting, which is all that it should be. My time was fully employed on the first night, in laughing, an occupation shared by the entire audience. The play was never in danger. There was not a weak spot. No, not even the space covered by Mr. DARNLEY'S moustache. It may be said that an earnest Barrister should be clean shaven, but the remark would only emanate from those who are bachelors. The married advocate has not only to consider his Judge and Jury, but also his wife, and nine times out of ten she combines in her own person the judicial functions with the power of the executive. Where all are good it seems invidious to particularise, but had I to call witnesses for the defence, I think I should choose Miss SUSIE VAUGHAN, and Messrs. MERVIN, CAFFREY AND PRINCE MILLER. Another great merit of _The Barrister_ is that he is closely associated with the word "brief." He makes his appearance every evening at nine and has retired for the night before eleven. I fancy, that unlike many other "gentlemen of the long robe," he will have plenty of work to do during the Long Vacation and after.