POOR LITTLE FREDDY FRADDLE (_addressing his immortal soul as he catches sight of the bridegroom, with a set smile on his face, shaking hands with an obvious bore_). Poor devil, poor, poor devil! And to think that I--! Well, well! There but for the grace of God goes Frederick Fraddle.
THE BRIDEGROOM (_to the_ OBVIOUS BORE). Thanks. Thanks awf'lly.
THE OBVIOUS BORE (_in measured tones_).... are going, as you say, to Wales for your honeymoon, you should on no account miss the opportunity of seeing the picturesque ruins of Llanxwrg Castle, which are among the most prominent spectacles of Carnarvonshire, a county, which I understand you to say, you propose to include in your visit. The ruins are really part of the village of Twdyd-Prtsplgnd, but your best station would be Golgdn. There is a good train service to and from that spot. If you mention my name to the custodian of the ruins, he will allow you to inspect the grave of the celebrated ----
IMMACULATE YOUTH (_interrupting_). Hello, Garnet, old man. Don't know if you remember me. Latimer, of Oriel. I was a fresher in your third year. Gratters!
THE BRIDEGROOM (_with real sincerity for once_). Thanks. Thanks awf'lly.
[_They proceed to talk Oxford shop together, to the exclusion of the O. B., who glides off in search of another victim_.
THE COACHMAN (_to his horse_). _Kim_ up, then!
THE HORSE (_to itself_). Deuce of a time these people are. Why don't they hurry. I want to be off. I'm certain we shall miss that train.
THE BEST MAN (_to crowd of perfect strangers, with whom in some mysterious way he has managed to strike up a warm friendship_). Now, then, you men, stand by. Wait till they come out, then blaze away. Good handful first shot. That's what you want.
THE COOK (_in the area, to_ JANE). Oh, I do 'ope they won't miss that train, don't you? Oh, here they come. Oh, don't Miss Phyllis--Mrs. Garnet--look--well, there. And I can remember her a little slip of a girl only so high, and she used to come to my kitchen, and she used to say, "Mrs. Minchley," she used to say--it seems only yesterday--"Mrs. Minchley, I want--"
THE BRIDE (_as the page boy's gloomy eye catches hers, "smiles as she was wont to smile_").
MASTER RIGGETTS (_with a happy recollection of his latest-read work of fiction--"Sir Rupert of the Hall": Meadowsweet Library--to himself_). "Good-by, proud lady. Fare you well. And may you never regret. May--you--nevorrr--regret!"