The other morning when Bobby came to school he wanted to bet teacher she had a wart on her right knee and the school marm, knowing better, and thinking she had an opportunity to win a bet from Bobby and by so doing, discourage his betting habit, accepted Bobby’s challenge. After school that evening teacher proved Bobby was wrong and won the two dollar bet.
“Mr. Nelson, I have broken Bobby of the betting habit. It was a little embarrassing, but this is how it was—Bobby bet me two dollars I had a wart on my right knee and in order to make him lose and cure him of the betting habit I accepted his challenge.”
“Lady! Lady! Why did you do it? Bobby bet me this morning ten dollars that he would see your knee before the day was out.”
In naughty old New York you need cold cash to have a hot time.
The other day I went to an Irish wedding and the people who attended were very ill mannered. Why, I never saw such impolite people. We were all seated around the dinner table and when they brought the turkey in to serve, everybody made a grab for it, but the two legs I got tasted very good.
Out in Idaho it is reported that the natives are making booze in this manner—women chew corn and then “gob” it into a hollowed-out section of a tree trunk. Water is added and the mess allowed to ferment, after which it is imbibed to intoxication. Some drink, we would pause to remark!
A friend of mine told me the other night he slept in a wagon standing in an alley, and when he woke up in the morning he had nothing but a dime in his pocket. He was thirsty and he also needed a shave, so he decided to toss the coin to see whether he would get a shave or a drink. He tossed up the dime, and when it came down he missed it and it rolled near a sewer grating, coming to a standstill just half over the edge of the grating.
“Gee,” he exclaimed, “that was a close shave. I guess I’ll get a drink.”
We asked Gus what he thought of Helen of Troy, but he said that he had stopped running around with those laundry girls.
Our Robbinsdale druggist insists that Minnesota Swedes are the most advanced settlers in this country.
“Formerly we thought the Swedes were crazy for drinking pure alcohol,” he said, “But present day events prove them to have been about twenty years in advance of the rest of us.”