So when he is gone, I say, "Come, Mistress, the Bribe is very high ... where shall we begin? I suppose 'twill shame you to be put too far back."
"I hardly know what will be too far back," saith she, rogueing a little—"My Father sayeth I have done this wrong—" and she gives me a little Slip of Paper, inscribed with the neatest, prettiest little Figures.
"Good now!" said I, "the only Mistake herein is,—you have essayed to subtract the greater Number from the less; which you know can never be."
"Yes, it can be, sometimes," saith she, quickly.
"Take V from IV and I remains!" quod she. So I laughed, and told her many a Spendthrift would like that Reckoning.
"Well," said I, "I suppose you desire not to begin with Enumeration."
"Since your Time is so valuable," sayth she, "you need not teach me at all."
"Nay, Mistress," say I, "count a Million if you will! I can tarry."
"Why," say I, "if you count a Hundred a Minute, that is, six Thousand in an Hour, and count at that Rate for fourteen Hours in the twenty-four, you may in twelve Days count a Million."
"Hold, hold!" cries she, "you will make me puzzle-headed for a week!" and so, runs off.
Next Time I saw her alone, I say, "Well, Mistress, are you in the Humour for Practice?"
"No," quoth she with Decision, "I know Figures already!" And commenced tinkling on her Virginals. So, there an End ... or might ha' been, were any Woman two Days o' the same Mind. But, shortly, she cometh to me with a Tear in her Eye.
"_Ned_," saith she, "what's to be done? I gave all the Money in my Purse (there wasn't much), to the Girdler's Widow, hard by St. _Anne_ in the Willows; and now, I can't make up my Father's Accounts, and shall seem unto him a Defaulter."
"Or be one ... which?" quod I. "What is to do?"
"Marry," say I, "I can lend you the Money."
"Nay," quoth she quickly, "it would not be right in me to take it."
"You have Reason," say I. "It would not."
"Honesty afore Charity," I made Answer. "You must ask Master _Hewet_ to deduct it from your next Quarterage, and henceforth give not away his Money when you have spent your own."
"He would never have grutched it!" cries she, kindling.
"Forsooth, then, all's said," quod I, and turned to go.
"_Ned!_ stop," cries she, "how _canst_ thou be so ill-natured?" and began to cry a little. "Why did you not, the other Day, as my Father bade you, put me on some better Method with my Accounts?"