Of the deeper and more serious insights a man gathers in the close approach of death and the swift, delicious return to safety and enlarging powers I hardly care to speak. To a physician, it is simply invaluable to have known in his own person pain, and to have been at close quarters with his constant enemy, and come off only wounded from the contest. In the anxiety about you is read anew what you look upon in other households every day, and perhaps with a too accustomed eye. And as to pain, I am almost ready to say that the physician who has not felt it is imperfectly educated. It were easy to dwell on this aspect of convalescence, but the mental state of one on the way to health is not favorable to connected thought. It is more grateful to lie in the sun, at the window, and watch the snow-birds on the ice-clad maples across the way, and now and then, day after day, to jot down the thoughts that hop about one's brain like the friendly birds on the mail-clad twigs.
I make no apology for the disconnectedness of my reflections, but turn gladly to my records of the joyous and less grave observations which the passing hours brought me. Much as I have seen of disease and recoveries in all manner of men and women, the chance to observe them in my own person presented me with many little novel facts of interest. I find in my brief notes of this well-remembered time many records of the extraordinary acuteness won for a while by the senses.
Not dubious, but, alas! brief, is the gain which the sensorium acquires in this delightfully instructive passage out of death's shadow into certain sunshine. In my own case there was a rapid exfoliation, as we call it, of the skin, a loss and renewal of the outer layer of the cuticle. As a result of this, the sense of touch became for a while more acute, and was at times unpleasantly delicate. This seemed to me, as I first thought of its cause, a mere mechanical result, but I incline to suspect now that it was in a measure due to a true increase in capacity to feel, because I found also that the sister sense of pain was heightened. Slight things hurt me, and a rather gentle pinch gave undue discomfort. No doubt a part of this was owing to my having taken a good deal of opium, and then abruptly laid it aside. As I have elsewhere stated, this is apt to leave the nerves oversensitive for a season. The sense of hearing seemed to me to be less wide awake. I did not hear better, but high notes were for a while most unpleasant. The sense of taste grew singularly appreciative for a time, and made every meal a joyful occasion. The simplest food had distinct flavors. As for a glass of old Madeira,--a demijohned veteran of many ripening summers,--I recall to this day with astonishment the wonderful thing it was, and how it went over the tongue in a sort of procession of tastes, and what changeful bouquets it left in my mouth,--a strange variety of varying impressions, like the play of colors. In these days of more unspiritual health and coarser sense I am almost ashamed to say what pleasure I found in a dish of terrapin.