And he has his hair cut frequently. His teeth are always pearly white. While his old suit is still good, he gets himself a new one; and he anoints himself with the choicest perfumes.
In the agora he frequents the banker’s counters. If he visits the gymnasia, he selects those in which the ephebi[18] practise; and, when there’s a play, the place he chooses in the theatre is close beside the generals.
He makes few purchases for himself, but sends presents to his friends at Byzantium, and Spartan dogs to Cyzicus, and Hymettian honey to Rhodes; and when he does these things, he tells it about the town. Naturally, his taste runs to pet monkeys, parrots, Sicilian doves, gazelles’ knuckle-bones, Thurian jars, crooked canes from Sparta, hangings inwrought with Persian figures, a wrestling-ring sprinkled with sand, and a tennis-court. He goes around and offers this arena to philosophers, sophists, fighters, and musicians, for their exhibitions; and at the performances he himself comes in last of all, that the spectators may say to one another, “That’s the gentleman to whom the place belongs.”
And, of course, when he is a prytanis[19] he demands of his colleagues the privilege of announcing to the people the result of the sacrifice; then putting on a fine garment and a garland of flowers, he advances and says: “O men of Athens, we prytanes have made sacrifice to the mother of the gods;[20] the sacrifice is fair and good. Receive ye each your portion.” When he has made this announcement, he returns home and tells his wife all about it in an ecstasy of joy.[21]
[13] Among the Athenians, Ethiopian slaves were evidently highly prized.
[15] This breed of dogs is still known to dog-fanciers.
[16] The temple of Asclepios (Aesculapius).
[17] Fingers or hands of marble or metal were common among the Athenians as votive offerings.
[18] Young men between eighteen and twenty years of age, who were in training for the duties of citizenship.
[19] One of the committee of fifty which, in rotation, were charged with the administration of affairs at Athens.
[21] A portion of Character XIX has been incorporated here, as belonging more fitly in this connection.
Garrulity is incessant heedless talk. Your garrulous man is one, for instance, who sits down beside a stranger, and after recounting the virtues of his wife tells the dream he had last night, and everything he ate for supper. Then, if his efforts seem to meet with favor, he goes on to declare that the present age is sadly degenerate, says wheat is selling very low, that hosts of strangers are in town, and that since the Dionysia[22] the weather is good again for shipping; and that, if Zeus would only send more rain, the crops would be much heavier, and that he’s proposing to have a farm himself next year; and that life’s a constant struggle, and that at the Mysteries[23] Damippus set up an enormous torch;[24] and tells how many columns the Odeon has, and “Yesterday,” says he, “I had an awful turn with my stomach,” and “What day’s to-day?” and “In Boëdromion[25] come the Mysteries, and in Pyanopsion[25] the Apaturia, and in Poseideon[25] the country Dionysia,” and so on; for, unless you refuse to listen, he never stops.