Standup Comedian is a 2012 Comedy Central special featuring comedian Demetri Martin. It was directed by Ryan Polito and filmed at the Skirball Center for the Performing Arts in New York City, New York. It first aired on October 2, 2012. A DVD and CD were released by Comedy Central and Comedy Central Records on October 2, 2012.
Segments
Intro
Martin plays guitar as a black and white animated line drawing forms guitar strings, his signature simple caricature with an exaggerated nose, as well as his name and the title of the special. He thanks the audience for clapping and directly acknowledges the camera to thank anyone who is clapping at home before briefly discussing his tour. Martin segues from talking about his tour into some travel-related jokes. In his usual style, most of the jokes are observational comedy, though in this special, they tend to be more extended than his typical one-liners unrelated to the jokes that precede and follow them. Subject matter includes pronouns, names, and introductions.
Surprise party and training bra
Martin begins the segment with a joke about surprise parties, stating "I came home and you emerged from my furniture. You don't have to tell me how to feel." He also exchanges "surprise" with other emotions. Other subjects in this segment include cigarettes, the afterlife, dalmatians and cows, prunes, training bras, and sex.
Large Pad
Martin uses his hallmark Large Pad to perform jokes with illustrations in this segment. The first non-blank page of the pad is titled "Drawings". He displays a product design for a "Baby Silencer", a device that connects a funnel over a baby's mouth to headphones, which would show it how loud it's being and silence it. The joke is followed by a drawing of an engagement ring, which he refers to as a "Girlfriend Silencer". The next joke consist of three graphs with identical curves. The Y-axis is labeled "Fun" and the X-axis is labeled "Good At". The titles of the graphs, respectively, are "Karaoke", "Skiing", and "Reading Aloud In Class", and the graph shows that while it is somewhat entertaining to watch people who are slightly above average at these tasks perform them, it is awful to watch when the performers are average or slightly below average, but wildly entertaining to watch when the performers are profoundly untalented. When the curve takes this turn, he says "something magical starts to happen". Several other drawings utilize the infographic style, including bar graphs, diagrams, and flow charts. The next drawing depicts a Wet Floor sign and Martin observes that this sign has both a warning and a scenario. The next drawing is of a question mark, followed by jokes about the invention of the symbol. Next, he diagrams and explains the dynamic of a love triangle, followed by a diagram of polygamy, an orgy and a schematic of a "Morgy", a term Martin coined to describe a Mormon orgy. The next drawings accompany jokes about various frozen treats, such as ice cream and popsicles. He additionally shows number comparisons between cats and teeth. He also shows a drawing of an "updated elevator button". The last page in the Large Pad says "An End".
Alligator Goodbye - Automatic Dispensers
This segment begins with Martin asking audience members if they want to talk about anything, a tactic he often uses in his standup shows to incorporate improvisation and "make comedy instead of performing comedy". He hears "old people" and "crocodiles", and does more stand up based on these subjects. Some of the first one-liners in his performance appear in this segment. Other joke subjects include how saying your age before or after a statement can change its effect, the origin of the phrase "okie dokie", canine attire, and automatic bathroom appliances.
Some Flyers
Martin showcases some flyers he made to post on coffee shop bulletin boards. These include flyers that say "Learn to Play Guitar and/or With My Balls", "Tutor for Avelible", "Not Missing: Dog", "So you want to learn how to play Saxophone? I CAN STOP YOU", "Free Time Machine: Call Me Two Weeks Ago", "Tambourine Lessons", "Man with Van (and fetish)", "Free Tiny Strips of Paper", and "←- That flyer is bullshit".
Skipping Color Scheme and Live/Nude
Martin resumes regular standup on subjects including skipping, color schemes, and an advertisement for a strip club with the headline "Live Nude Girls".