For what will sting like this?—I have, through mine own foolish, narrow, unworthy, undervaluing thoughts, of the love and ability of Christ to save me, brought myself to everlasting ruin. It is true, I was a horrible sinner; not one in a hundred did live so vile a life as I: but this should not have kept me from closing with Jesus Christ: I see now that there are abundance in glory that once were as bad as I have been: but they were saved by faith, and I am damned by unbelief.
Wretch that I am! why did not I give glory to the redeeming blood of Jesus? Why did I not humbly cast my soul at his blessed footstool for mercy? Why did I judge of his ability to save me by the voice of my shallow reason, and the voice of a guilty conscience? Why betook not I myself to the holy word of God? Why did I not read and pray that I might understand, since now I perceive that God said then, he giveth liberally to them that pray, and upbraideth not; Jam. i. 5.
It is rational to think, that by such cogitations as these the unbelieving world will be torn in pieces before the judgment of Christ; especially those that have lived where they did or might have heard the gospel of the grace of God. Oh! that saying, “It shall be more tolerable for Sodom at the judgment than for them,” will be better understood. See Luke x. 8–12.
This reason, therefore, standeth fast; namely, that Christ, by offering mercy in the first place to the biggest sinner now, will stop all mouths of the impenitent at the day of judgment, and cut off all excuse that shall be attempted to be made (from the thoughts of the greatness of their sins) why they came not to him.
I have often thought of the day of judgment, and how God will deal with sinners at that day; and I believe it will be managed with that sweetness, with that equitableness, with that excellent righteousness, as to every sin, and circumstance, and aggravation thereof; that men that are damned, before the judgment is over shall receive such conviction of the righteous judgment of God upon them, and of their deserts of hell-fire, that they shall in themselves conclude that there is all the reason in the world that they should be shut out of heaven, and go to hell-fire: “These shall go away into everlasting punishment;” Matt. xxv. 46.