The third reason is that women have, in effect, two organs of gratification, the clitoris and the vagina. Clitoral orgasm is immature, evades true feminine sexuality, and is considered a form of frigidity. However, millions of women find this earlier method of gratification so satisfying that they are not motivated to move up to the mature level.
In medical school one of our courses included the study of the psychological stages of development man goes through from infancy to maturity. It also included the various pitfalls people encounter during these stages, the biological and psychological experiences that can prevent them from reaching psychological maturity.
During one class in which we reviewed the psychological hazards of adolescence a very intelligent student raised his hand and was recognized by the professor. “How does anybody _ever_ really grow up?” this student asked.
The class laughed, of course. But the professor, after the laughter had died down, took the question quite seriously and complimented the student for his acuity. He then proceeded to address us for a half hour on the indomitable and surging drive of the human body and mind toward health and pleasure, a drive that will often overcome seemingly insurmountable obstacles, that will pause for a while at times, apparently defeated, only to revive its original energy and resume its move toward the goal of health and maturity.
We see this drive daily in people who come for psychiatric help, and we know that it is the single most important element in psychological healing. As soon as the difficulty which was holding the person back has been resolved, his whole mind and body tend once again to resume its move toward health and happiness. It is well to keep this factor in mind as we explore here the stages of development women go through on their way to grown-uphood.
We have seen the grown-up, truly feminine woman in operation. You will remember that she is a delighted and delightful partner in that closest and most perfect expression of love, the sexual act. You will recall that a great part of her personality is organized around her maternal instinct and that the chief characteristic of that instinct is a pleasure in giving, an unappeasable altruism that always puts husband and child before self, even to the point of risking her own life and welfare. Her central activities revolve around her nest building and child rearing. Her personality is characterized by a deep intuitiveness about others. She is inward and passive, her energies devoted to that deepest of all needs, the procreation of the race of man through her own body. Her husband, by contrast, is aggressive, occupied basically with his struggles in the outside world. Her stage, the focus of her central interest, is the home and its preservation and its happiness.