“You must consider how it grew. I told you I was myself a good after-dinner speaker. I was hard up. Then this man--old friend, now a Colonial Judge--came to me for help. I wrote him a speech, and he bought it--that is to say, he lent me ten pounds for it--really he bought my secrecy. That’s how it began. Money was necessary. There was an unexpected way of making money. So it spread.”
“I have no doubt that the practice of imposition was duly paid for.”
“You must consider--really. There is nothing envied so much as the reputation of good after-dinner speaking. I supply that reputation. People go where they are likely to hear good speeches. I supply those speeches.”
“I do not deny the position. But you are, nevertheless, helping a man, for money, to deceive the world.”
“To deceive the world? Not at all. To delight the world. Why, I am a public benefactor. I open the purses at charity dinners, I send the people home in good temper. Do you think the people care two pins who is speaking if they can be amused?”
“Why not?” He walked about the room, swinging his arms, and turning from time to time on Leonard as he made his points and pronounced his apology. “Why not? I ask. You talk as if some fraud was carried on. Nobody is defrauded; I earn my fees as much as any barrister. Look you, Leonard: my position is unique, and--and--yes, honourable, if you look at it rightly.”
“Yes; I am the Universal After-Dinner Speaker. I supply the speeches for every occasion. I keep up the reputation of the City for eloquence. Why, we were rapidly sinking; we were already acknowledged to be far below the American level. Then I came. I raised the standard. Our after-dinner speeches--mine--are becoming part of our national greatness. Why? Because I, sir--I, Christopher Campaigne--took them in hand.”
“I carry on this business alone--I myself--hitherto without recognition. The time may come when the national distinctions will be offered to the--in fact, the After-Dinner Demosthenes.”
“I confess that the work is light, easy--to me, at least--and pleasant. It is also well paid. People are willing to give a great deal for such a reputation as I can make for them. Nobody ever wants to see me. Nobody knows who I am. Nobody wants to know. That is natural, come to think of it. The whole business is done by correspondence. I work for none but persons of wealth and position. Confidence is respected on both sides. Sometimes the whole of a dinner, so to speak, passes through my hands. I have even known occasions on which I have sat unrecognised at a dinner-table, and listened to my speeches being delivered well or ill through the whole evening. Imagine, if you can, the glow and glory of such an evening.”