’Twas a summer ago, when he left me here, A summer of smiles with never a tear, Till I said to him, with a sob: my dear, Good-by, my lover, good-by!
For I love him, oh! as the stars love night! And my cheeks for him flushed red and white When first he called me his heart’s delight. Good-by, my lover, good-by!
The touch of his hand was a thing divine, As he sat with me in the soft moonshine, And drank of love as men drink wine. Good-by, my lover, good-by!
And never a night as I knelt in prayer, In a gown as white as our own souls wear, But in fancy he came and kissed me there: Good-by, my lover, good-by!
But now, God! what an empty place My whole heart is! Of the old embrace And the kiss I loved there lives no trace: Good-by, my lover, good-by!
He sailed not over the stormy sea, And he went not down in the waves—not he; But, oh! he is lost, for he married me: Good-by, my lover, good-by!
The oil field filosopher reports the following:
My father got rich selling tickets at the moving picture show. When a man came up to buy a ticket he would throw down a two dollar bill or a five. Father would blow his breath in his face and say, “How many?” The man would say, “Oh, never mind, keep the change.”
Just because you’re a ham, you needn’t think you’re Swift. That’s all the jokes I know, but there Armour.
Steamer Captain—Save yourself! The vessel is going down. Here, sir (to indifferent passenger), what are you passing that hat for in a situation like this?
Passenger—I’m just providing a sinking fund for our widows and orphans, captain.
“I’ve got the fastest typist in the city.”
“Well, that’s the only complaint I have against mine.”
Some marriages make one wonder why a man should want to keep a cow when free milk is running down the gutter. A ladle costs less than a cradle.
“Good mornin’ this evenin’, how do you do tomorrow?”
“Would you mind giving a poor man a drink of liquor?”
“I’m so hungry, I ain’t got nowhere to stay all night?”
“Dat may all be,” reckons Raspin’ Rastus, when told that the Good Book says the lion and lamb lie down together, “But ah cain’t fin’ no place where it says dat lamb eber got up.”
“Act as if the destiny of the universe depended on your acts.”
My girl is so pretty that whenever she boards a street car, the advertising is a total loss.