"'Glory, Docker,' says he, falling on my neck, his top-boots being a bit loose, 'I was looking for you.'
"'But you _can_ 'ave,' he whispers confidential, like they do in the pictures. 'I'm riding Red Liz in the Balaam.'
"'Well,' I replies, 'I'm not denying that Red Liz is a perfect lady; but that's 'er trouble--she's too ladylike to pass anyone.'
"'Docker,' he hisses, 'do you remember driving 'er one day down the Menin Road when Fritz started shelling?'
"'Don't I just! Why, she didn't fetch up till nearly at St. Omer, and the shells lost heart becos they couldn't catch 'er. But,' I says regretfully, it takes shells to start Red Liz, an' we ain't got none.'
"'No, we 'aven't got shells,' whispers Spruggy, 'but I 've got some crackers; an' if you sprinkle some on the course, it's a cert.'
"'Right-o!' says I. 'Me an' Nigger will see it through, if you'll lend us another five francs to invest.'
"Then I went to _cherchay_ a bookie, but I couldn't find one anywheres.
"'They don't 'ave 'em 'ere,' says Nigger. 'You invests at the sheds over there--the _Paree Mutual_.'
"'That's an insurance company,' answers I. 'I want to put a bit on, not take out a life policy.'
"'That's the place, I tells you,' says Nigger; 'the _Paree Mutual_ or the _Total Liza_. If you don't 'urry you won't get it on before the race starts.'
"So I fights my way through the surging mob to the counter.
"'What odds for Red Liz in the five-thirty?' says I.
"'_Je ne comprong pas_,' says the bet merchant, and before I could say another word the crowd swept me away. I went back to Nigger.
"'Look 'ere, Nigger,' says I indignantly, 'I don't like this way. I likes to speckerlate with a bookie--one with a wooden leg as can't run for preference--who tells you what odds 'e's going to give an' doesn't 'ave to work it out in vulgar fractions afterwards.'
"'You 'eart-breaking turnip!' says Nigger; 'give me the money.'
"'E came back in a few minutes with a bit o' card that looked like a pawn-ticket.
"'That's done,' he says. 'If it wins we just takes this ticket an' 'e pays out on it. An' now let's go an' see 'em come out.'
"There wus ten starters, and four changed their minds at the post. Perishing Percy did some neat an' effective steps that would 'ave gone better with music, an' then stopped dead to listen for the applause. Whips nor spurs weren't allowed in the race, an' peaceful persuasion don't go far with a mule; but about five of 'em pursued the narrow and straight path that leads to the winning-post. A big, raw-boned animal, named Gentle Maggot, floundering along with one foot in the franc side an' tother in the enclosure, with two other feet that couldn't be simultaneously located, was leading, an' a chestnut named Coughdrop was a good second. Red Liz was flapping her long ears an' coming along very genteelly in the rear. When they wus nearly level to us, Nigger whispers to me to get the cracker ready; but me hands were trembling so with excitement that I couldn't light it.