(_AFTER DIPPING INTO MAJOR LE CARON'S "RECOLLECTIONS."_)
MAJOR LE CARON! Major! True, a greater Or more accomplished spy who ever knew? And so original! In fact, the _pater_ Of all deception yields the palm to You! Courageous, honest, crafty, how you met Wile with wile wilier! And then, forsooth, You so transformed yourself to suit each set, That it is praise to say, "you lied like truth!" And in an honest cause! Renown'd Ulysses, That craftiest hero yields to you in guile. You touch the gold! You're not the man who misses A chance! You caught the wariest with your smile! "CARON!" The "h" is dropped, or we could fix (And so we can if Greek the name we make) You as the ancient Ferryman of Styx, Punting the Ghosts across the Stygian lake. The simile is nearly perfect, note, For you, with your Conspirators afloat, Were, as you've shown us, all in the same boat.
The following correspondence and extracts have been sent to _Mr. Punch_ for publication:--
I.--_Koniglich-Kaiserlicher Ober-Hof-Rath Doctor Hermann Dummwitz von Hammelfleisch to The Emperor-King William the Second._
I have the honour to announce to your Majesty, that my spouse, the beautiful and accomplished clergyman-daughter, ANNA ANSELMA, whom, by your Majesty's ever-to-be-with-gratitude-remembered permission, I last year to the altar led, is now of good hope, and will shortly, if all should go well, add one to your Majesty's loyal and submissive subjects. I make this announcement in accordance with your Majesty's Hochzeit's Decree, Section 6.
And I remain, &c. &c. &c., DUMMWITZ VON HAMMELFLEISCH.
II.--_William the Second to K.K.O.H.R.D.H.D. von Hammelfleisch._
I have received your letter. In accordance with Section 7 of my Hochzeit's Decree, I graciously give permission for the birth of the child referred to in your communication. I beg, at the same time, to point out that, by my Supplementary Decree (Proportions of Sexes), issued last week, it is necessary that the child should be a boy. Communicate this at once to the Frau K.E. Ober-Hof-Rathin Doctorin A.A. VON HAMMELFLEISCH.
III.--_K.K.O.H.R.D. von Hammelfleisch to the Emperor-King, William the Second._
Your with-satisfaction-received letter has been to my wife communicated. She desires me to assure you that she is your Imperial Majesty's obedient subject, (Signed) D. VON H.