CECILY. Yes! to good heavens, Gwendolen, I mean to Gwendolen.
ALGERNON. [Laughing.] Of course not! What could have put such an idea into your pretty little head?
CECILY. Thank you. [Presenting her cheek to be kissed.] You may. [Algernon kisses her.]
GWENDOLEN. I felt there was some slight error, Miss Cardew. The gentleman who is now embracing you is my cousin, Mr. Algernon Moncrieff.
CECILY. [Breaking away from Algernon.] Algernon Moncrieff! Oh! [The two girls move towards each other and put their arms round each other’s waists as if for protection.]
JACK. [Standing rather proudly.] I could deny it if I liked. I could deny anything if I liked. But my name certainly is John. It has been John for years.
CECILY. [To Gwendolen.] A gross deception has been practised on both of us.
GWENDOLEN. [Slowly and seriously.] You will call me sister, will you not? [They embrace. Jack and Algernon groan and walk up and down.]
CECILY. [Rather brightly.] There is just one question I would like to be allowed to ask my guardian.
GWENDOLEN. An admirable idea! Mr. Worthing, there is just one question I would like to be permitted to put to you. Where is your brother Ernest? We are both engaged to be married to your brother Ernest, so it is a matter of some importance to us to know where your brother Ernest is at present.
JACK. [Slowly and hesitatingly.] Gwendolen—Cecily—it is very painful for me to be forced to speak the truth. It is the first time in my life that I have ever been reduced to such a painful position, and I am really quite inexperienced in doing anything of the kind. However, I will tell you quite frankly that I have no brother Ernest. I have no brother at all. I never had a brother in my life, and I certainly have not the smallest intention of ever having one in the future.
GWENDOLEN. [Severely.] Had you never a brother of any kind?
JACK. [Pleasantly.] Never. Not even of any kind.
GWENDOLEN. I am afraid it is quite clear, Cecily, that neither of us is engaged to be married to any one.
CECILY. It is not a very pleasant position for a young girl suddenly to find herself in. Is it?
GWENDOLEN. Let us go into the house. They will hardly venture to come after us there.
CECILY. No, men are so cowardly, aren’t they?