And Robinson Crusoe come back to life And land in Baltimore with a wife; And little Bo Peep who lost her sheep Sold at auction mighty cheap; And the money hid by Captain Kidd Found in a box without a lid By a colored boy in the Isle of Wight A hundred thousand dollars bright. A diamond mine they said was found On Charles Street above the ground, They had boys at school their lessons know, In headlines deep a foot or so; And all the girls in the world combine, To go to bed at half-past nine, Or if rules they broke to pay a fine. And ending up on the final page A prophecy of a future age
When Teddy Bears would rulers be And hunt for men in cave or tree With guide and gun, with horse and hound, In a Colorado hunting ground. The advertisements made that night Were what the printers call a fright: All shoved together, old and new, Upside down and wrong side too, Grocers had hats and caps for sale, And tailors eggs, and barbers ale, And department stores had railroad ads, And big hotels sold writing pads, And music stores sold soap and tea, And theatres said admission free, And a jeweller, the best in town, Offered cheap a wedding gown. A private school sold cheese and lard, And furniture was offered by the yard. When TEDDY-B saw what was done He said he thought ’twould make good fun. “For we mean,” said he, “to sell our sheet And every record sale to beat.”
The papers sold at first for ten, But when approved by business men The price went up on every hand; And with papers in such brisk demand You couldn’t get a single sheet By ten o’clock upon the street. The money made for the boys that day Bought them a home with grounds to play And enough to spare to give each lad The jolliest time he ever had: A fresh air week down by the sea With candy, cake and soda free.
The Bears were glad when their work was done To start for the town of Washington, To see the President and shake his hand And then go home, as they had planned.
[Illustration: _Not in to callers; we’ve gone to bed. Signed Teddy B. Teddy G._]
The Roosevelt Bears visit WASHINGTON and complete their Tour of the East
When the Bears arrived in Washington They set out at once to buy a gun. They bought three guns and pistols ten And suits and belts like fighting men. When dressed complete then off they went To the house where lives the President. When they reached the grounds and the entrance gate No one was near to make them wait. The news had spread round everywheres Of this visit planned by the Roosevelt Bears. A policeman dodged behind a tree When he got first sight of TEDDY-B. Detectives wise with eagle eye Didn’t stop to ask the reason why, But ducked their heads behind a wall And got under cover one and all. A doorkeeper in gold and black Said, “Wait a minute till I come back.”