Finally I end by discovering one of Chabert's sappers and say to him:
"Where is your lieutenant? Take me to him!"
"I don't know where he is--I believe he has been killed----"
The night is black and the air is filled with smoke and dust. One stumbles above all on plaster and bricks----
Sinister detonations and cries and groans. There is, in the air, the breath of catastrophe, yes, of catastrophe, which oppresses your chest.
The man who guides us is lost--he goes and comes, he makes us take wide detours, he is afraid and is nervous----
A large projectile falls at our side--the _poilu_ is knocked down, giving vent to a raucous cry as he falls. I fall myself to my knees and feel the heat of blood which runs down my chest. My left hand rests on the body of the sapper and I am conscious of it covered with warm blood----
Poulet raises me up, giving me a drink of brandy. Stray bullets whistle around us----
I am only slightly wounded and take Poulet's arm to direct ourselves toward Fort Douaumont where I will have it dressed.
How long and sad is this road. It is a veritable Calvary for me and I stagger lamentably; these last days have proven almost too much----
"Lieutenant, why doesn't our artillery respond any more?" Poulet asked me several times.
"I do not know, _mon petit_, we are going through grave times, but we must not get discouraged. Have confidence!"
Someone who must be amazed is the surgeon-in-chief of Gondrecourt!
I arrived at his hospital in the early morning in Colonel Gency's automobile, who announced my coming by telephone----
A hospital attendant tore off my tunic, cut off my shirt, baring a bloody chest----
"We are going to give you an anti-tetanus injection, radiograph you, and to commence with, I'm going to call the surgeon-in-chief----"
While the attendant was gone, I hurriedly dressed myself and left--English fashion. Luckily Colonel Gency's automobile was still there. I had no fear of pain, or the boches, but I don't like doctors!
I went through Cumières like a shooting star would pierce a rain of projectiles and sought refuge at Côte-de-l'Oie, where I know they will not come to search for me----
Fear ... Oh! terrible thing! It is a contagious malady that has to be watched. All of us have inside a cowardly beast that awakens sometimes at the approach of danger----