[_Townley runs in, and drags out Fossile changing his cloaths with Hugh._
Why sirrah! must one call all day for you?
_Sars._ This is not Hugh, madam; a rouge in disguise, got in to rob the house! thieves, thieves!
Enter CLINKET, PRUE with the writing-desk, and servants
_Foss._ St. St--no noise. Prithee, dearee, look upon me. See, see, thy own dear husband. It is I.
_Town._ What an unfortunate woman am I! Could not you pass one day without an intrigue? and with a cookwench too! for you could put on a livery for no other end. You wicked man.
_Sars._ His coldness, madam, is now no longer a mystery. Filthy monster! wer't not thou provided with my mistress as a remedy for thy rampant unchastity?
_Town._ Was all your indeffierence to me for this! you brute you.
_Foss._ Nay, prithee, dearee, judge not rashly. My character is establish'd in the world. There lives not a more sober, chaste, and virtuous person than doctor Fossile.
_Foss,_ Since it must come out; ha, ha, ha, only a frolick on my wedding day between Hugh and I. We had a mind to exhibit a little mummery.
_Clink._ What joy arises in my soul to see my uncle in a dramatick character! Since your humour lead you to the drama, uncle, why would you not consult a relative muse in your own family? I have always used you as my physician; and why should not you use me as your poet?
_Foss,_ Prithee, dear, leave me a moment. This is a scandal to my gravity. I'll be with you, as my self, immediately.
[_Exeunt omnes, except Fossile and Hugh. As they are changing habits, Fossile says,_
As a mark of my confidence in thee, I leave thee guardian of my house while I go my rounds. Let none in but patients; wan sickly fellows, no person in the least degree of bodily strength.
_Hugh._ Worthy doctor, you may rely upon my honour.
I have betray'd my mistress. My conscience flies in my face, and I can ease it noway but by betraying my master.
This is not the doctor; but he is dress'd like him, and that shall be my excuse.
[_He lets Plotwell in, Townley meets him, they embrace._
_Plotw._ This disguise gives spirit to my intrigue. Certainly I am the first person that ever enjoy'd a bride without the scandal of matrimony.
_Town._ I have a different relish, Mr. Plotwell, for now I can't abide you, you are so like my husband.