Good manners and politeness next engaged our attention.
Ruth is a great stickler for manners, especially in boys, and not a very good judge of character, so she has to make much of evident, superficial characteristics. Marian, on the other hand, is an excellent judge of character. Marian asked me whether I thought manners important, and what I thought politeness meant. I said good manners were the natural expression of kindness, but that one often met good people who were bores, nevertheless, simply out of awkwardness; that many young boys were so, and Ruth ought to teach them better. We quoted some examples of false good manners, good simply for effect, which usually were self-exposed at last. I said: “That people with kind manners are thought the best-bred and finest, is but another sign that the world of men goes in ‘our’ direction.”
“Yes,” said Marian, “I see how you mean.”
Ruth granted she cared too much for good manners, since they did not always mean what they professed to mean. To Florence they seemed unimportant, in others, as an index of character.
Florence said: “I act differently with each person, because I believe a different way will please each person.”
“Yes,” I answered, “we all do it unconsciously; and that is why we _are_ as many people as we _know_.”
She went on: “When I am with people who like to be serious, I talk seriously; and when I am with people who like to fool, why, then I am jolly and silly.”
“But how about your own taste and personality?” I asked. “Does that count?”
“When I am with some very proper people,” said Florence, “I love to shock them.”
“Yes,” I answered, “it is a temptation. But, please, Florence, make the people do what you choose sometimes. You remember that you want to be like a picture, and not only like a looking-glass.”
“I like to be the controlling person,” said Virginia, “and make people do what I choose.”
Ruth said: “I don’t believe people are ever their real self with me, and it is very annoying. They always try to seem better.”
“That is,” said Marian, “because they know you have such high ideals.”
“Yes,” Ruth went on, “I suppose _you_ tell them. And then they show me only their good side.”
“Ruth,” I answered, “if that be true, it need not trouble you. If you can really make people always show you their good side, you should be glad to have the power. For people’s good side is a pleasanter side to see; and it is excellent practice for them to show it. I want you each to be a power and a purpose in life.”