"Our whole neighborhood has been stirred up," said the regular reader.
The editor of the country weekly seized his pen. "Tell me about it," he said. "What we want is news. What stirred it up?"
There is nothing new except what is forgotten.--_Mademoiselle Berlin_.
A kind old gentleman seeing a small boy who was carrying a lot of newspapers under his arm said: "Don't all those papers make you tired, my boy?"
"Naw, I don't read 'em," replied the lad.
VOX POPULI--"Do you think you've boosted your circulation by giving a year's subscription for the biggest potato raised in the county?"
THE EDITOR--"Mebbe not; but I got four barrels of samples."
COLONEL HIGHFLYER--"What are your rates per column?"
EDITOR OF "SWELL SOCIETY"--"For insertion or suppression?"--_Life_.
EDITOR--"You wish a position as a proofreader?"
"Do you understand the requirements of that responsible position?"
"Perfectly, sir. Whenever you make any mistakes in the paper, just blame 'em on me, and I'll never say a word."
A prominent Montana newspaper man was making the round of the insane asylum of that state in an official capacity as an inspector. One of the inmates mistook him for a recent arrival.
"I was trying to make money out of the newspaper business," replied the editor, to humor the demented one.
"Rats, you're not crazy; you're just a plain darn fool," was the lunatic's comment.
"Did you write this report on my lecture, 'The Curse of Whiskey'?"
"Then kindly explain what you mean by saying, 'The lecturer was evidently full of her subject!'"
We clip the following for the benefit of those who doubt the power of the press:
"Owing to the overcrowded condition of our columns, a number of births and deaths are unavoidably postponed this week."
"Binks has sued us for libel," announced the assistant editor of the sensational paper.
"Tell him," he said, "that if he will put up a strong fight we'll cheerfully pay the damages and charge them up to the advertising account."
Booth Tarkington says that in no state have the newspapers more "journalistic enterprise" than in his native Indiana. While stopping at a little Hoosier hotel in the course of a hunting trip Mr. Tarkington lost one of his dogs.
"Have you a newspaper in town?" he asked of the landlord.