"Jack's kisses were far nicer than that!"
I extract the following anecdote from the Memoirs of Doctor John Brown, a well-known Scotch divine.
The doctor, it appears, had for six years and a half been engaged to be married to a certain lady, when it occurred to him that matters were no further advanced than on the day when he had asked her for her heart and its dependencies. The position became intolerable: the doctor had not yet ventured on anything less ceremonious than shaking hands with his lady-love. To touch her hand was something, and perhaps the reverend gentleman thought, with our French poet:
_Ce gage d'amitié plus qu'un autre me touche: Un serrement de main vaut dix serments de bouche._
However, one day, he summoned up all his courage, and, as they sat in solemn silence, said suddenly:
"Janet, we've been acquainted noo six years an' mair, and I've ne'er gotten a kiss yet. D' ye think I might take one, my bonnie lass?"
"What, noo, at once?" cried Janet rather taken by surprise.
"Just as you like, John; only be becoming and proper wi' it."
"Surely, Janet, and we'll ask a blessing first," said the young doctor.
The blessing was asked, the kiss was taken, and the worthy divine, perfectly overcome with the blissful sensation, rapturously exclaimed:
"Eh, lass, but it is guid. We'll return thanks."
This they did, and the biographer adds that, six months later, this pious couple were made one flesh and lived a long life of happy usefulness.
The following little scene, of which a friend was witness in Scotland, will show that if Scotch people in general can see through a joke, there are also a few who belong to the type described by Sydney Smith, and for whom the _surgical operation_ is a sad necessity.
Several persons had met together in a Scotch drawing-room, and were passing the evening in playing at simple games. One of these games consisted in each person going out of the room in turn, while the company agreed upon a word to be guessed at by the absent member on his or her return.
A young lady had just gone out of the room.
During her absence the word _passionately_ was chosen.
The young lady having been recalled, each member of the party in turn went through a little performance that should lead her to guess the word, addressing her in passionate language, while expressing with the features as much love, despair, or anger, as possible.