"And what do you think of that, Jacqueline?"
"I think," she wrote, "that no other man has ever been as nice to me. I do not really care about the other people, but I quite understand that you and I could not see each other as freely as we have been doing, without detriment to me. I like you--superfluous admission! And I should miss seeing you--humble confession! And so I suppose it is best that everybody should know who and what I am--a business woman well-bred enough to sit at table with your friends, with sufficient self-confidence to enter and leave a room properly, to maintain my grasp on the conversational ball, and to toss it lightly to my vis-à-vis when the time comes.
"All this is worth doing and enduring for the sake of being your guest. Without conscientious scruples, apprehensions, perplexities, and fears I could never again come to Silverwood and be there alone with you as I have been. Always I have been secretly unhappy and afraid after a day with you at Silverwood. Sooner or later it would have had to end. It can not go on--as it has been going. I know it. The plea of business is soon worn threadbare if carelessly used.
"And so--caring for your friendship as I do--and it having become such a factor in my life--I find it easy to do what you ask me; and I have arranged to go with Mrs. Hammerton to Silverwood on the first Thursday in March, to practice my profession, enjoy the guests at your house party, and cultivate our friendship with a clear conscience and a tranquil and happy mind.
"It was just that little element of protection I needed to make me more happy than I have ever been. Somehow, I _couldn't_ care for you as frankly and freely as I wanted to. And some things have happened--you know what I mean. I didn't reproach you, or pretend surprise or anger. I felt neither--only a confused sense of unhappiness. But--I cared for you enough to submit.
"Now I go to you with a sense of security that is delightful. You don't understand how a girl situated as I am feels when she knows that she is in a position where any woman has the right to regard her with suspicion. Skating, motoring, with you, I could not bear to pass people you knew and to whom you bowed--women--even farmers' wives.