_She_ (_with resolution_). Charlie, I want to ask your pardon. I have made a mistake.
_She._ You shall not put me out by sneering. Yes, I have made a mistake; and when I make a mistake, I do not fail to acknowledge it.
_He._ Quite right, dear. Nothing like having a congenial occupation.
_She._ Charlie, we came back to town prematurely.
_He._ Yes, dear; we certainly curtailed our stay in Paris a little to allow of your purchasing that pretty bonnet.
_He._ It did, dear; but I did not grudge it, as you and the shop girl said it was of the first mode and the greatest novelty in Paris.
_He._ Well, I am sure that the three or four days we cut off were well worth it, to buy the bonnet.
_She._ How good, how noble of you to say so!
_He._ Not at all; I was really glad to get back to the club. And you have your bonnet--a real genuine French bonnet! And the most Parisian shape imaginable.
_She_ (_with an effort_). The shape is not Parisian.
_He._ Not Parisian! Where does it come from?
_She._ I see from a ticket in the lining it was made in the Edgware Road.
AT WINDSOR.--_American Traveller_ (_to Waiter at the "Blue Stag"_). Say, is it true that you've got a real live ghost here?
_Waiter._ Yessir. Believed to be either Cardinal Garnet Wolseley, 'Erne the 'Untsman, Queen Elizabeth, or the late King of the Belgiums.
_American Traveller._ Thanks. Send for the local reporter, if off duty in any one capacity.
SUITABLE SPOTS.--_Ware-ham_--for abstainers from pork; _Whits-table_--for facetious gourmets; _Wig-more_--for bald men; _Wig-ton_--for perruquiers; _Winfarthing_--for small gamblers; _Wo-burn_--for firemen.
[Illustration: NOSÉ IN EGITTO; OR, AUTOMOBILITY IN THE LAND OF THE SPHINX.
"One touch of _Punch_ makes the whole world kin."]
[Illustration: A QUESTION OF PROPORTION.--_Colonel Peppercorn_ (_who is touring in France with a hired chauffeur and car, which has broken down_). "Confound it all, you say it's nothing? Then why don't you repair it?"
_Alphonse Legros._ "Mais, monsieur, pas possible, he break below! I cannot arrive there! He is only quinze centimètres from ze ground; but me--voilà--I have one mètre round ze chest!"]
_Question._ What is your object this year?
_Answer._ To follow the precedent of former Summers, and get over as much ground as possible.
