Death robbed me of my partner several years ago, but even death could not take away the riches that memory stored for me during more than thrice that time, nearly thirty blessed years. Having had experience of the things which tend to the building up of such memories, I feel free to speak of them to you, my dear girl friends, to whom the path is yet an untrodden way.
Oh, I do want it to be a happy path to all of you who may enter upon it! Not necessarily all smooth. Such paths are seldom found on earth, and when they are, those who tread them are apt to grow weary even of happy monotony, and to step aside into others, where they find or make difficulties for themselves. Or they remain on the smooth road, but cover it with imaginary stumbling-blocks, which are harder to surmount than real ones.
What I desire for each of you is a road on which you and the dear one who is the accepted alike of your heart, your reason, and your conscience may walk together as “two who are agreed.”
The privilege of choice pertains to the other sex; but only after a limited fashion, seeing that with yourselves rests the power to accept or refuse any number of offers that may be made to you.
If you accept, your answer should have a threefold basis. Honest affection to begin with, for, believe me, without this married life cannot be truly happy. It is a life which calls for much self-devotion, self-denial, patience, and the bending of one’s own will to that of another.
True affection sweetens all these things and makes them easy, and that must be a hard nature indeed which does not respond on receiving such proofs of it.
But reason and conscience should each have a voice in saying “Yes” or “No” to an offer of marriage. They will speak, even when at times the girl is unwilling to listen to either of them.
Conscience will ask, “Is the union with this man one on which a blessing can be asked and expected? I have been brought up by God-fearing parents, whose great desire has been that I should be His child and walk as a disciple of Jesus. On this, the most important subject of all, shall we two be agreed?”
I am not going to suggest all the questions which will be likely to come into the mind of a Christian girl under such circumstances; but I cannot imagine one worthy of the name who would give an answer, affecting the happiness of at least two lives, without earnestly seeking guidance from God by prayer and supplication. If, after this, conscience is satisfied, only reason’s voice has to be heard.