“What, are not affection and conscience enough without help from reason?” you ask.
Well, perhaps I should say common sense should have a third voice in the matter. You and I have eyes to see and ears to hear. However young you may be, you have seen and known something of what are called imprudent marriages.
There may have been true affection and unity in aims, principles, and work. The union, as such, may be one against which no one can say a word, except that it will not be a prudent marriage, and can only bring regrettable consequences.
How a young man is to be honoured if he, for the very love he bears a girl, refrains from giving her the pain of saying “No” when her heart as well as esteem for his character would induce her to say “Yes” at all risks!
Often the girl has to show herself the stronger under such circumstances, and then her task is doubly hard, for she has to battle against her own heart’s pleadings as well as those of her lover.
I do not believe that any girl who shows her courage and self-devotion in such a manner will have cause to regret in the long run. If the man is worthy of her affection, he will love her the better for the motives which have induced her to refuse him. He will have realised the cost to herself, and will determine that it shall not be in vain. Knowing that he cannot give her such a home as would deserve the name, and that marriage on such a slender or uncertain income would mean privation, constant struggling to make ends meet, probably debt as an additional burden, he will resolve to work the harder and possess his soul in patience until brighter days dawn for both of them.
He will say, “What is worth having is worth both working and waiting for,” and he will redouble his efforts to shorten the time of probation. Each will be cheered by the thought, “It was for her sake I kept silent,” or “It was for his sake I said ‘No,’ not my own.”
I have often been consulted by girls who, having seen my own happy married life, have decided that I must be an authority on things pertaining thereto. But, alas, it has also often happened that the applicant for advice only wished me to confirm her own foolish decision.
One case recurs to my mind after the lapse of many years. The _fiancée_, orphaned as an infant, had been brought up, educated, and cared for by relatives. She was a good pianist, and had early found a groove in which to earn a livelihood, always having in addition the certainty of a home with those who had brought her up, should she need it.