Humbly to Command Till Death (always Humbly Begging pardon for the bad Conduct w^h was guilty of when In Liquor Especially On an Empty Stomach, Having Taken Nothing all that Day excepting what I could not Eat,)
"P. S. Will Bring That young Man with Tears In his Eyes to Beg y^r pardon Over again If You Like w^h will Solemnly Swear if Required That he did It all of His _own_ Head And that Have given It him For it in the Way That is Written Above And humbly Trust You Will make Me So happy Once more by writing To Me (if it is only a Line) To say You Have Thought No more of it T. T. No. 9 Closet C^t. Oxford Street. 14/7/18--"
This exquisitely-skilful epistle might indeed have brought tears into Mr. Quirk's eyes, if he had been _used_ to the melting mood, which he was not; having never been seen actually to shed a tear but once--when five-sixths of his little bill of costs (£196, 15s. 4d.) were taxed off in an auction on a Bill of Exchange for £13.[7] As it was, he tweedled the letter about in his hands for about five minutes, in a musing mood, and then stepped with it into Mr. Gammon's room. That gentleman took the letter with an air of curiosity, and read it over; at every sentence (if indeed a sentence there was in it) bursting into soft laughter.
"Ha, ha, ha!" he laughed on concluding it--"a comical gentleman, Mr. Titmouse, upon my honor!"
"Funny--isn't it rather?" interposed Mr. Quirk, standing with his hands fumbling about in his breeches pockets.
"What a crawling despicable little rascal!--ha, ha, ha!"
"Why--I don't quite say that, either," said Quirk, doubtingly--"I--don't exactly look at it in _that_ light!"
"My dear sir!" exclaimed Gammon, leaning back in his chair, and laughing rather heartily, (at least for him.)
"You can't leave off that laugh of yours," said Quirk, a little tartly; "but I must say I don't see anything in the letter to laugh at so particularly. It is written in a most respectful manner, and shows a proper feeling towards the House!"
"Ay! see how he speaks of _me_!" interrupted Gammon, with such a smile!--
"And doesn't he speak so of me? and all of us?"
"He'll let the house tread on him till he can tread on the house, I dare say."
"But you must own, Mr. Gammon, it shows we've licked him into shape a bit--eh?"