"The rest of my dancers laugh not, and I hold each one as a tool, But he pays as he goes, be it rapture or woes, And I have no bill for the Fool! He loves and he lives," frowned the Piper, "and such poor returns suffice, For he cries '_Voilà le diable!_' and gives himself as the price!" Then, with chagrin and reluctance, as the star sank into the pool, The Piper made claim on each separate name, But receipted in full--for the Fool.
A friend wrote to Mark Twain, asking his opinion on a certain matter, and received no reply. He waited a few days, and wrote again.
His second letter was also ignored. Then he sent a third note, enclosing a sheet of paper and a two-cent stamp.
By return mail he received a postal card, on which was the following: "Paper and stamp received. Please send envelope."--_Boston Herald._
A New England statesman was referring to the dry humor of the late Senator Hoar, when he was reminded of the following:
One day Hoar learned that a friend in Worcester who had been thought to have appendicitis was in reality suffering from acute indigestion.
Whereupon the senator smiled genially. "Really," said he, "that's good news. I rejoice for my friend that the trouble lies in the table of contents rather than in the appendix."--_New York Tribune._
A large touring automobile containing a man and his wife in a narrow road met a hay wagon fully loaded. The woman declared that the farmer must back out, but her husband contended that she was unreasonable.
"But you can't back the automobile so far," she said, "and I don't intend to move for anybody. He should have seen us."
The husband pointed out that this was impossible, owing to an abrupt turn in the road.
"I don't care," she insisted, "I won't move if we have to stay here all night!"
The man in the automobile was starting to argue the matter when the farmer, who had been sitting quietly on the hay, interrupted.
"Never mind, sir," he exclaimed, "I'll try to back out. I've got one just like her at home!"--_Philadelphia Ledger._
"Your son is a philosophical student, I hear?"
"Yes, I believe he is. I can't understand what he's talking about."--_Detroit Free Press._
Come, give me your hand, sir, my friend and my brother. If honest, why, sure, that's enough! One hand, if it's true, is as good as another, No matter how brawny or rough.