_June 20th._--I am much better to-day, but still very weak, yet work I must. There was a sharp fight again last evening. The enemy came down and attacked our rear, and a sharp conflict ensued between some 2,000 Sepoys with six guns, and 300 Europeans with one gun. The result was as usual, but two events occurred which were important for me. Colonel Becher was shot through the right arm, and Captain Daly badly hit through the shoulder.
The consequence is, that I have in effect to see to the whole work of the Quartermaster-General of the army; and in addition, the General has begged me as a personal favor to take command of the Guides until Daly has recovered. I at first refused, but the General was most urgent, putting it on the ground that the service was at stake, and none was so fit, &c. &c. I do feel that we are bound to do our best just now to put things on a proper footing, and after consulting Seaton and Norman, I accepted the command. How ---- will gnash his teeth to see me leading my dear old Guides again in the field. If I can but keep it till Delhi is taken I shall be satisfied, for I think I shall be able to do something towards so favorable a result. Shebbeare was appointed second in command at my request. He is an excellent soldier. General Barnard[26] has written most strongly in my favor, and has voluntarily pledged himself to get me my majority as soon as ever I am a captain. I confess I feel a little proud at being earnestly requested to take again the command of which the machinations of my enemies had deprived me. Our loss altogether last night was not more than 50 killed and wounded; we took two guns;--enemy's loss about 500.
_June 21st._--I have been on horseback to-day for the first time since this attack of illness, so I may be considered finally recovered, only I still feel considerable weakness. It is very annoying not to be quite up to the mark in these stirring times, especially when so much work has fallen to my lot. I am fortunate, however, in not being, like many of our poor fellows, laid up with wounds and serious ailments. God has been very good to me, and in nothing more so than in preserving what is most precious to me from the horrible danger and suffering of so many of our poor countrywomen and children. How thankful I am now that Reginald exchanged into an European corps. I never see any of these unhappy refugees, as we call the poor officers whose regiments have mutinied, wandering about the camp, without uttering a mental thanksgiving that he is safe from that at least. I feel more strongly every hour that I should not have been justified in refusing the command of the Guides under present circumstances. We are, in point of fact, reduced to merely holding our own ground till we get more men. The drain on our resources has been enormous, while those of the enemy have proved so much greater, both in men, ammunition, and strength of position, than we expected, and they have fought us so much more perseveringly than was deemed possible, that it has become imperatively necessary to be stronger before striking the final blow. The plan for carrying the city[27] by assault, which I feel convinced would then have been successful, has now become impracticable. The enemy are stronger, we are weaker; besides that, they would be prepared for any _coup-de-main_ now. General Johnstone is to be here by the 23d, we hope with considerable reinforcements, and more will follow. I trust that a few days then will end this business, as far as Delhi is concerned, and so enable a part, at least, of the force to move on towards Allygurh, and reopen the roads and dâks, and restore order for the time; but when the end will be, who can say?