VAN. (_rising, after a long pause, during which they have been staring at each other, not knowing what to say_) Sir, I am very happy to have met you. Your conversation betokens great intelligence, and I regret extremely that I have not more time to improve the acquaintance, but unfortunately an unlucky engagement--
AUGUS. (_taking him up_) Pray don't mention it, sir--pray don't mention it. (_aside_) Thank goodness he is going at last. (_each puts his chair back, and, fancying the other gone, they meet in the centre, and stare at each other_) Well, sir?
VAN. Well, sir, you have the advantage of me. To whom have I the honour of speaking?
AUGUS. Before I answer that question, I must know what right you have to ask it.
VAN. This is mere evasion, sir. I must request the favour of your name. I have no wish to be personal, but, really, there are so many vagabonds going about now--
AUGUS. (_taking him up_) Exactly, that's just it; what you say is so perfectly true, that I don't feel safe with you, although I am in my own lodgings.
VAN. What do you mean by presuming to call these lodgings yours. (_aside_) A horrible suspicion! (_aloud_) Who are you, sir? I insist upon knowing your name this instant!
AUGUS. (_alarmed_) Bobbins, sir, Bobbins!
VAN. (_going close to him_) _I'm her husband!_
AUGUS. What the devil do you mean? Whose husband?
VAN. Your victim's! you heavy swell, you--you old rascal!
AUGUS. (_aside_) Good gracious! he can't be alluding to Mrs. Duval! Who can have told him? (_aloud_) Do you mean, seriously to say that you are the husband of--
VAN. (_taking him up_) The woman you have so basely turned from the paths of virtue!--of that dear being who, next to myself, I loved best in the whole world.
AUGUS. Interesting traveller! respectable individual! believe me, on my honour, there is not one word of truth in all you have been told.
AUGUS. Sir, you are transported by rage. Your anger won't allow you to listen to reason.
VAN. Rage! anger! I shall suffocate myself! Language falls short--words are too weak--let's come to blows!
(_drives BOBBINS round the stage, until he gets on the left of the table, L._
AUGUS. Keep your hands to yourself, can't you? Strike me in my own home?
VAN. Ah! again! you dare call this your home, you rascally cabinet maker? Do you think, because you have sent in your goods, you have any right to the premises? What do I care for your mahogany? Look here! D--n your mahogany! (_throws down arm chair_) D--n your mahogany!