They were out for a day in the country--were late at the station--he left it to her to take the tickets--a horrid crowd--frightfully hot--and she was hustled and flustered considerably when she reached the carriage.
_He (cool and comfortable)._ "How charming the yellow gorse----"
_She (in a withering tone)._ "You didn't 'xpect to see it blue, I s'ppose!"
[Illustration: A DELIGHTFUL REMINISCENCE OF THE BOAT-RACE
_Sweep (to a carriage full of light blue ribbons)._ "Won't yer make room for a little 'un, ladies and gents? I'm for the Cambridge lot!"]
_Railway Gatesman._ "It's agin the rules, my lady, openin' o' the gate like this; but it ain't for the likes o' me to keep yer _ladyship_ a waitin'."
_Noble Countess._ "Why is it against the rules, my good man?"
_Railway Gatesman._ "Well, my lady, the 5.17 down express has been doo these ten minutes!"]
_Season-Ticket Holder (airily)._ "'Morning, station-master. Anything fresh?"
_Station-Master ("bit of a wag")._ "N-no, sir, not that I've---- ah!--yes--now I think of it, sir--that's fresh paint you're leaning agai----!"
[_Violent pas seul, with language to match._]
The man who got in at Blackfriars Was smoking the foulest of briars, But it went out all right-- Could I give him a light?-- Hadn't got one--well, all men are liars.
I've frequently noticed the Temple Is a place there are not enough rhymes to; And that's why I've made This verse somewhat blank, And rather disregarded the metre.
How _do_ you pronounce Charing Cross? It's a point where I'm quite at a loss. Some people, of course, Would rhyme it with "horse," But I always rhyme it with "hoss."
A woman at Westminster Bridge Had got just a speck on the ridge Of her Romanesque nose. "It's a black, I suppose," She observed. Then it flew--'twas a midge.
One man from the Park of St. James, Had really the loftiest aims; In the hat-rack he sat, Used my hair as a mat, And when I demurred called me names.
I bought from the stall at Victoria A horrible sixpenny story, a Book of a kind It pained me to find For sale at our English emporia.
I found when I got to Sloane Square That my ticket was gone; my despair Was awful to see, Till at last to my glee I looked in my hat--it was there!
_Porter at Junction._ "Phew! All this luggage registered in advance and not a bloomin' tip do I get for handling it."]