"Let us cultivate optimism and hopefulness. There is nothing like it. The optimistic man can see a bright side to everything--everything.
"A missionary in a slum once laid his hand on a man's shoulder and said:
"'Friend, do you hear the solemn ticking of that clock? Tick-tack; tick-tack. And oh, friend, do you know what day it inexorably and relentlessly brings nearer?"
"'Yes-pay day,' the other, an honest, optimistic workingman, replied."
A Scotsman who has a keen appreciation of the strong characteristics of his countrymen delights in the story of a druggist known both for his thrift and his philosophy.
Once he was aroused from a deep sleep by the ringing of his night bell. He went down to his little shop and sold a dose of rather nauseous medicine to a distressed customer.
"What profit do you make out of that?" grumbled his wife.
"And for that bit of money you'll lie awake maybe an hour," she said impatiently.
"Never grumble o'er that, woman," was his placid answer. "The dose will keep him awake all night. We must thank heaven we ha' the profit and none o' the pain o' this transaction."
A German shoemaker left the gas turned on in his shop one night and upon arriving in the morning struck a match to light it.
There was a terrific explosion, and the shoemaker was blown out through the door almost to the middle of the street.
A passer-by rushed to his assistance, and, after helping him to rise, inquired if he was injured.
The little German gazed at his place of business, which was now burning quite briskly, and said:
"No, I ain't hurt. But I got out shust in time, eh?"
My own hope is, a sun will pierce The thickest cloud earth ever stretched; That, after Last, returns the First, Tho' a wide compass round be fetched; That what began best, can't prove worst, Nor what God blessed once, prove accursed.
It is narrated that Colonel Breckenridge, meeting Majah Buffo'd on the streets of Lexington one day asked: "What's the meaning, suh, of the conco's befor' the co't house?"
"General Buckneh is making a speech. General Buckneh suh, is a bo'n oratah."
"If you or I, suh, were asked how much two and two make, we would reply 'foh.' When this is asked of a bo'n oratah, he replies: 'When in the co'se of human events it becomes necessary to take an integah of the second denomination and add it, suh, to an integah of the same denomination, the result, suh--and I have the science of mathematics to back me up in my judgment--the result, suh, and I say it without feah of successful contradiction, suh-the result is fo'' That's a bo'n oratah."