Chinese pre-wedding customs are traditional Chinese rituals prescribed by the ( (Book of Rites), the ( (Book of Etiquette and Ceremonial) and the () (Bai Hu Tong) condensed into a series of rituals now known as the () (Three Letters and Six Rites). Traditionally speaking, a wedding that incorporates all six rites is considered a (complete wedding, ).
Traditional rites
The six traditional rites involved in a Chinese wedding are as follows: () – formal proposal () – giving of the eight characters of prospective bride to the groom's side () – placement of the eight characters at the ancestral altar to confirm compatibility () – sending of betrothal gifts to the bride and return gifts to the prospective groom () () – selection of an auspicious wedding date () – wedding ceremony
Selection of dates
The first step is the selection of auspicious dates () for the Chinese wedding, the betrothal and the installation of the bridal bed. A Chinese monk or a temple fortune teller selects a suitable date based on the couple's birth dates and times. Some may also refer to the Chinese calendar or almanac for good days. Even numbered months and dates are preferred, and the lunar seventh month is avoided as it is the month of the Hungry Ghost Festival.
After the selection of the auspicious dates, wedding details such as types and quantities of betrothal gifts, reciprocal gifts, bride price (), and number of tables at the wedding banquet provided by the groom's parents for the bride's parents' guests are settled.
Betrothal
Up to three months or earlier before the wedding day, the groom will deliver the betrothal gifts to the bride's family on an auspicious date.送
The betrothal (, also known as or ) is an important part of the Chinese wedding tradition. During this exchange, the groom's family presents the bride's family with betrothal gifts (called or ) to symbolize prosperity and good luck. Moreover, the bride's family receives the bride price () in red envelopes. The bride's family also returns (, ) a set of gifts to the groom's side. Additionally, the bride's parents bestow a dowry (, , ) on the bride.
The selection of betrothal gifts varies by the ancestral regions of the bride and groom. In cases of intermarriage between various Chinese dialect speakers, brides typically follow the groom's ancestral traditions, not the other way around.
The gifts are often in even number for the meaning of in couple and in pairs. Food items given to the bride include wine, oranges, and tea; while jewelry for the bride includes gold earrings, necklaces, bracelets, and rings. In some regions, they are also combined with some local food, such as peanuts and dates (in Chinese, the word for "date" is a near homonym of "early", while "peanut" is "birth"). This is normally presented on the wedding day, with the wishes of giving birth to a child early in the marriage. Candles and paper cut "Double Happiness" are often seen on a wedding day as well.
The bride price, which is given by the groom's family to the bride's family, varies from region to region. In Southern China, the bride price is much higher than in Northern China.
After the betrothal gifts and bride price are negotiated and given, the families select a special date for the wedding. The wedding date is announced via invitations about a month earlier, and the invitations are distributed to the friends and relatives about one or two weeks before the wedding day.
Cantonese traditions
During the wedding rituals, Cantonese brides invariably don a (), a highly embroidered red silk dress, which consists of a petticoat, adorned with the images of a () (dragon) and a () (phoenix), and a long skirt.
A hair combing ceremony (see description below) is performed.
In addition, the groom is expected to give a pair of matching () (dragon and phoenix bracelets), which are most commonly made of gold, to the bride, and are to be worn during the wedding festivities. The dragon and phoenix motif symbolize a blissful union, as described by the Chinese phrase () (a union of the dragon and phoenix).
On the third day following the wedding, the newlywed bride's first return visit to her family home after marriage is called 歸寧 []. A () (whole roasted pig) is presented to the bride's family, who customarily will keep the pig's body and return the pig's head and legs, along with other gifts. Traditionally, a perfect roast pig was offered as a sign of the bride's virginity.
Hokkien traditions
In the Hokkien dialect, the betrothal rite is known as (, ) or its abbreviated form .