The answer to an invitation to dinner should be sent as promptly as possible, within twenty-four hours at the latest. As husband and wife are always invited together, except to a stag dinner, so both must either accept or send regrets. It is not good form for one to go without the other, unless to the house of a near relation or an intimate friend. An exception is sometimes made to this rule in the case of a married couple of widely divergent tastes. Thus a literary man who is fond of society may have a wife who does not like to dine out, or whose health does not permit her to do so. If he is a very agreeable and popular person, it soon comes to be understood among their friends that he will accept invitations while his wife cannot. Although this dispensation is occasionally granted to men and women of unusual charm and ability, the average citizen is expected to adhere strictly to the rule given above.
The answer to a dinner invitation must also be definite and exact. If Mrs. Jones is uncertain whether or not she or her husband will be able to attend the dinner, she must send regrets for both. The answer should correspond in form with the invitation. “Mr. and Mrs. Samuel Jones regret very much their inability to accept the kind invitation of Mr. and Mrs. Lloyd Griswold for dinner on April eleventh,” or “regret extremely that a previous engagement prevents their accepting,” etc. The day and hour should be repeated in an acceptance, to guard against possible mistakes.
A dinner engagement must never be broken except in case of sickness or death. Should one fall ill or be obliged for any imperative reason to withdraw the acceptance of the invitation, the hostess should be notified at once in order that she may if possible fill the place left vacant. For men the proper costume for late dinner (at six o’clock or after) is regulation evening dress—_i.e._, black swallow-tail coat, with trousers to match, low-cut white waistcoat, white dress-shirt, white lawn tie, pumps or patent-leather shoes, and black socks. Some men, especially those of the older generation, still follow the earlier fashion which prescribed a black waistcoat. The latter is also worn with mourning costume. At stag dinners and small informal occasions the dinner-jacket replaces the swallow-tail coat and is accompanied by a plain black-silk tie. This must be freshly fastened whenever worn. A “made” tie of any sort is considered among men to be in direct violation of all rules of social decorum. We do not pretend to understand why, but it is one of the unalterable laws of masculine etiquette. A white waistcoat is never worn with a dinner-jacket. For a formal dinner the proper costume for women is a low-necked evening gown, with sleeves either very short or of the length required by the fashion prevailing at the moment. It is by no means necessary that the bodice should be extremely décolleté. Long gloves, white or delicately tinted, dress-slippers, and silk stockings complete the costume. The foot-gear may match the dress or it may be white or black. Ornaments may be worn in the hair, varying with the fashion of the day. Elderly women often substitute a dress cut out slightly at the neck, with elbow or transparent sleeves, for the regulation décolleté gown. Those who catch cold very easily have their dresses cut accordingly.