Jog on, jog on, the foot-pad way, In the modern Sikes's style-a: Punctilious fools prefer to _pay_; But I at scruples smile-a.
... Ha, ha! what a fool Honesty is! and Trust, his sworn brother, a very simple gentleman ... I understand the business, do it; to have an open ear, a quick eye, and a nimble hand with the shears is necessary for a (literary) cutpurse; a good nose is requisite also, to smell out the good work of other people. I see this is the time that the unjust man doth thrive.
At last! How long ago the time When England's paltry meanness killed Her greatest Sculptor in his prime. And hid his work, now called sublime, In narrow space so nearly filled!
When, using Art beyond her taste, Her greatest Captain's tomb he wrought, That noblest effort was disgraced,-- It seemed to her a needless waste, The Budget Surplus was her thought.
Now may she, with some sense of shame, Amend the errors of the past, Show honour to the Great Duke's name, Repair the wrong to STEPHENS' fame, And move the Monument at last!
It is believed that the Rossendale Union of Liberal Clubs, having given a pair of slippers, a rug, and two pieces of cretonne to Mr. GLADSTONE, will also make the following presents, in due course:--
_Sir W. L-ws-n._--Twelve dozen Tea-cosies, and ten yards of blue Ribbon.
_Sir W.V. H-rc-rt._--A Spencer, without arms, but emblazoned with those of the Plantagenets.
_Mr. McN-ll._--A knitted Respirator, to be worn in the House.
_Lord R. Ch-rch-ll._--Twelve dozen table-cloths, twenty-four dozen Dinner-napkins, and thirty-six dozen Pudding-cloths.
_Sir E. Cl-rke._--A scarlet Jersey, inscribed "Salvation Army."
_Mr. B-lf-r._--Some Collars of Irish linen, and one of hemp, the latter to be supplied by the Irish patriots in America.
_Mr. E. St-nh-pe._--A Necktie of green poplin, embroidered with shamrocks.
_Mr. W. O'Br-n._--A pair of Tr----rs, in fancy cretonne.
_Sir G.O. Tr-v-ly-n._--A Coat (reversible).
_Mr. C. C-nyb-re._--A Waistcoat (strait).
"I SAY, DUBOIS, YOU _DO_ KNOW HOW TO LAY IT ON THICK, OLD MAN! I LIKE YOUR CHEEK TELLING MISS BROWN SHE SPOKE FRENCH WITHOUT THE LEAST ACCENT!"
"VY, CERTAINEMENT, MON AMI--VIZOUT ZE LEAST _FRENCH_ ACCENT!"]
(_Imaginary Evidence that should be added to the Report of Lord Wantage's Committee._)