Reb Shemuel would have been scandalized if any one had applied these words to him.
At about eleven o'clock Hannah came into the room, an open letter in her hand.
"Father," she said, "I have just had a letter from Samuel Levine."
"Your husband?" he said, looking up with a smile.
"My husband," she replied, with a fainter smile.
"It isn't a very serious letter; he only wants to reassure me that he is coming back by Sunday week to be divorced."
"All right; tell him it shall be done at cost price," he said, with the foreign accent that made him somehow seem more lovable to his daughter when he spoke English. "He shall only be charged for the scribe."
"He'll take that for granted," Hannah replied. "Fathers are expected to do these little things for their own children. But how much nicer it would be if you could give me the _Gett_ yourself."
"I would marry you with pleasure," said Reb Shemuel, "but divorce is another matter. The _Din_ has too much regard for a father's feelings to allow that."
"And you really think I am Sam Levine's wife?"
"How many times shall I tell you? Some authorities do take the _intention_ into account, but the letter of the law is clearly against you. It is far safer to be formally divorced."
"Save us and grant us peace," interrupted the Reb in horror.
"Yes, I suppose you would. But what _Narrischkeit_! Why should he die? It isn't as if you were really married to him," said the Reb, his eye twinkling.
"Do not talk so," said Reb Shemuel, resuming his gravity. "Is it absurd that you should be scorched if you play with fire?"
"You never told me how you got on at Manchester," she said. "Did you settle the dispute satisfactorily?"
"Oh, yes," said the Reb; "but it was very difficult. Both parties were so envenomed, and it seems that the feud has been going on in the congregation ever since the Day of Atonement, when the minister refused to blow the _Shofar_ three minutes too early, as the President requested. The Treasurer sided with the minister, and there has almost been a split."
"The sounding of the New Year trumpet seems often to be the signal for war," said Hannah, sarcastically.
"Just by laughing at both sides. They would have turned a deaf ear to reasoning. I told them that Midrash about Jacob's journey to Laban."