9 P.M.--A Turkish bath may be had in Covent Garden Theatre. Towels or programmes are supplied by the policemen at the doors.
10 P.M.--Converse, before turning in, with the policeman on duty or the fireman in charge of the fire-escape. Much interesting information may be obtained in this way.
11 P.M.--Supper at the cabmen's shelter, or the coffee stall corner of Hyde Park. Get a policeman to take you home to bed.
[Illustration: _Benevolent Old Gentleman._ "_Poor_ little thing! Is it hurt?"
[Illustration: AMENITIES OF THE ROAD.--_Robert._ "Now then, four-wheeler, why couldn't you pull up sooner? Didn't you see me 'old up my 'and?" _Cabby_ (_suavely_). "Well, constable, I _did_ see a kind of shadder pass acrorst the sky; but my 'orse 'e shied at your feet!"]
_Q._ WHAT is the best sort of cigar to smoke in a hansom?
THE WHEEL OF FORTUNE.--It must have belonged originally to an omnibus, for it is continually "taking up" and "putting down" people.
[Illustration: _Groom_ (_whose master is fully occupied with unmanageable pair which has just run into rear of omnibus_). "Well, anyway, it wasn't the guv'nor's fault."
'_Bus Conductor._ "No--it was _your_ fault, for letting 'im drive!"]
[Illustration: "THE WAY WE BUILD NOW."--_Indignant Houseowner_ (_he had heard it was so much cheaper, in the end, to buy your house_). "Wh' what's the--what am I!--wha' what do you suppose is the meaning of this, Mr. Scampling!"
_Local Builder._ "'T' tut, tut! Well, sir, I 'spects some one's been a-leanin' agin it!!"]
_Important Old Gent_ (_from the country, who thinks the lofty bearing of these London barmaids ought to be "taken down a bit"_). "Glass of ale, young woman; and look sharp, please!"
_Haughty Blonde_ (_blandly_). "Second-class refreshments lower down, sir!!"]
Legs were freely walked off, and there was a pressure on ribs owing to the rush of beggars; but knuckles came down, while calves'-heads were looking-up steadily. At Smithfield, there was a rush of bulls, but the transactions were of such a hazardous nature as to appear more like a toss-up than firm business. Any kind of security was resorted to, and the bulls having driven a well-known speculator into a corner, he was glad to get out as he could, though an attempt was made to pin him to his position.