I am much gratified by General Johnstone's exertions in my favor, though I have not the slightest idea that they will eventuate in anything; but the motive is the same. Let me do what I will, I have made up my mind to gain nothing but the approval of my own conscience. I foresee that I shall remain a subaltern, and the easygoing majors of brigade, aides-de-camp, and staff-officers will all get brevets, C. B.'s, &c., for simply living in camp, and doing their simple duties mildly and without exertion. The Victoria Cross, I confess, is the highest object of my ambition, and had I been one of fortune's favorites I should have had it ere now even, but I have learnt experience in a rough school and am prepared for the worst; but whether a lieutenant or lieutenant-general, I trust I shall continue to do my duty, to the best of my judgment and ability, as long as strength and sense are vouchsafed to me.
CAMP, DELHI, _August 24th_.--I returned here this morning at 2 P. M., very tired and unwell, and not able to write much, for I have been obliged to have recourse to the doctor.
People have got an absurd story about my being shut up in a fort, without food or chance of escape! The General's aide-de-camp tells me the old man believed this ridiculous report and was fairly frightened, getting no sleep for two nights. However, he fully admits the good service we have rendered, and every one is making a talk and fuss about it,--as if success were uncommon! I find strong hopes of our making an assault on the city as soon as the siege train arrives, which will be in about thirteen days. Havelock seems unable or unwilling to move on, but we can hardly want him, for surely we shall have ample means for taking the city shortly.
I am to have a surgeon attached to my regiment at once, as I represented how cruel it was to send us out on an expedition without a doctor or a grain of medicine. We had eight wounded men, and two officers had fever on the road, and nothing but the most primitive means of relieving them. I asked for Dr. Charles, but there are so many senior to him waiting for a turn, that I must be content for the present with what I can get. I hope, however, to have Charles ultimately, for he is skilful, clever, a gentleman, and a Christian.