Speaking of our Neo-Neurotic and "Personal" Novelists, JAMES PAYN says: "None of the authors of these works are storytellers." No, not in his own honest, wholesome, stirring sense, certainly. But, like other naughty--and nasty-minded--children, they "tell stories" in their own way; "great big stories," too, and "tales out of school" into the bargain. Having, like the Needy Knife-grinder, no story (in the true sense) to tell, they tell--well, let us say, tara-diddles! Truth is stranger than even _their_ fiction, but it is not always so "smart" or so "risky" as a loose, long-winded, flippant, cynical and personal literary "lie which is half a truth," in three sloppy, slangy, but "smart"--oh, yes, decidedly "smart"--volumes!
SCENE XVI.--_The Chinese Drawing Room at Wyvern._
TIME--7.50. Lady CULVERIN _is alone, glancing over a written list._
_Lady Cantire (entering)._ Down already, ALBINIA? I _thought_ if I made haste I should get a quiet chat with you before anybody else came in. What is that paper? Oh, the list of couples for RUPERT. May I see? (_As_ Lady CULVERIN _surrenders it_.) My dear, you're _not_ going to inflict that mincing little PILLINER boy on poor MAISIE! That really _won't do_. At least let her have somebody she's used to. Why not Captain THICKNESSE? He's an old friend, and she's not seen him for months. I must alter that, if you've no objection. (_She does._) And then you've given my poor Poet to that SPELWANE girl! Now, _why_?
_Lady Culverin._ I thought she wouldn't mind putting up with him just for one evening.
_Lady Cant._ Wouldn't _mind_! Putting up with him! And is that how you speak of a celebrity when you are so fortunate as to have one to entertain? _Really_, ALBINIA!
_Lady Culv._ But, my dear ROHESIA, you must allow that, whatever his talents may be, he is not--well, not _quite_ one of Us. Now, _is_ he?
_Lady Cant._ (_blandly_). My dear, I never heard he had any connection with the manufacture of chemical manures, in which your worthy Papa so greatly distinguished himself--if _that_ is what you mean.
_Lady Culv._ (_with some increase of colour_). That is _not_ what I meant, ROHESIA--as you know perfectly well. And I do say that this Mr. SPURRELL'S manner is most objectionable; when he's not obsequious, he's horribly familiar!