January 26, 10 P.M. It has required a mighty effort to keep up this day. My pulse 56, slow and irregular; temperature 98. Headache, yet mind clear; backache. Weakness in all my body; my limbs so weak in walking that it was difficult to keep going, and felt as if I could lay down or drop down anywhere. What heart failure symptoms are I do not know, but fear I came very near it and yet I have resisted this feeling, and kept awake and about. Have felt very ill all the day, and am so now on retiring, 11 P.M. * * *
January 29. 9 A.M. Just after breakfast, pulse 68, temperature 99; slept very heavy, but dreamed of treating many cases of black diphtheria. Awoke, slept, dreamed the same dream again, and again the same dream, three separate times. How very singular! During these provings, I have done this three separate times. Three dreams in one night--the same dream, the same disease, the same families in my dream. This singularity caused me to lay awake wondering what this can mean. I have not any patients suffering from this disease, and I do not know of any in the town, and nothing that I know of to bring this disease to my mind. Awoke feeling very stiff and sore. * *
January 30. Head pains again, the same old character. Sensation of swelling in my face and pain in nerves of teeth, molars. Hot feeling. Pulse, 68. Temperature, 99. Very weak, but my mind clear. Much trembling and the oppression round my heart and chest producing a suffocating feeling that makes me afraid, and I must now seek some means to arrest this difficulty and give me some relief. I know it looks cowardly to give up, but my family compels me to do something to enable me to keep about. I cannot do any more; this heart oppression makes me think of heart failure. Pulse, 56, and temperature 96. Very weak. I hope it will wear away and this trembling improve. They have been caused by this drug, one of the most powerful. I gave up and went to bed very ill. I had to keep it from my family, but I was afraid my heart would stop beating and had a very restless night. I took acetic acid, as vinegar I had in some pickles I thought changed or relieved the first class or effort of provings and caused me to stop and begin again. I think it did help me. Next day very prostrated but did not take any note of my pulse or temperature, because I had began to try to find an antidote, and this vinegar and lemon juice has relieved many of them. I fear sometimes that the trembling in my hands may never fully leave me now.