Once more—for I do not like being misrepresented in the newspapers upon this particular point—being sensitive perhaps about Joe Miller; and, for that reason, always acknowledging my indebtedness to him and to his fellow-laborers, the newspaper people, who never tell a story without spoiling it, or making it look strange: there is a story told in England, upon which a play has been founded, to this effect. A lawyer was called to see a man charged with sheep-stealing. After a brief consultation, he saw clearly that, upon the evidence before him, there was no possibility of escape. And then, too—probably—the wretch was very poor, being only a sheep-stealer, and not a murderer, nor forger, nor house-breaker, nor highwayman, and of course, would have to be satisfied with poor counsel. Whereupon the learned gentleman thought proper to ask him if he had ever been deranged.
“Oh—yes—to be sure: all my family on my father’s side have been very _flighty_—very.”
“That’ll do, my friend; that’s enough. You are charged with stealing sheep—you know.”
The fellow began to roll his eyes and look savage.
“When you are called upon to plead—you know what that is?”
“Well, then, just plead to the indictment by saying _baa-aa_!”
So said—so done. The prisoner was arraigned. The indictment was read over to him very slowly as he sat with his head on one side, looking as sheepish as possible. And when they had got through, and he was called upon to say _guilty_ or _not guilty_, he answered, by saying _baa-aa_!
The court being rather astonished, interfered, and told him what he was required to do; but still he answered nothing but _baa_! Read over the indictment again, said the judge, and read it very slowly. The clerk obeyed, and when he had got through, and was again required to say _guilty_ or _not guilty_, he answered, as before, nothing but _baa-aa-aa_!
A jury was then impanneled to see if he stood mute “by the visitation of God.” After looking at his tongue—and his eyes—and feeling his pulse, they returned a verdict in the affirmative. The man was forthwith discharged; and the lawyer followed him out, and touching him on the elbow, held out his hand—_baa-aa-aa!—baa-aa-aa!_ said the sheep-stealer—and vanished.